This Super Bowl weekend, Dallas restaurants are going crazy with deals and drink specials. And some of these restaurants have actually lost their minds if they think we're gonna pay their outrageous prices. (We're sure someone will pay-- it just won't be us.)
Here's a list of five Super Bowl deals that don't seem like deals at all:
Urban Taco The Uptown location of Urban Taco is offering $20 beer buckets including six import beers. Twenty bucks for a six-pack? We're not saying that Urban Taco doesn't have a great atmosphere that's worth the extra money (we'll leave that to you in the comments), but we are pissed that they're claiming that this is a deal. We haven't paid 20 bucks for a six-pack since we were 18. What? It was for our moms.
Twin Peaks The Big Game Meal Deal at Twin Peaks is $50 for unlimited food, beer and drinks, "a man sack full of precious bounty" (not sure what that means, but we have a general fear of man sacks), raffle prizes and of course, adult women wearing clothes that don't completely cover their boob parts. We don't get it: If you want to see some bazongas and eat crappy food, why aren't you at a strip club? Is the rocky-mountain-oysters-plus-half-boner combo really the draw here?
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The Nodding Donkey Here, they're offering up an amazing deal! For $100 per person, you get open bar plus all-you-can-eat lunch, appetizers and dinner from 2 p.m. until 10pm. If you get there at 2 p.m., it might be worth it. But, keep in mind that means you'll be spending eight straight hours at the Nodding Donkey and that cannot possibly end without a vomit montage (coming from you or at you!). The ticket price is outrageous, but to their credit, they are taking that money from idiots and donating $10 of each ticket to kids who can really use it at the Make-A-Wish Foundation of North Texas.
Studio Movie Grill For $25, you get a food and beverage coupon plus a reserved seat to watch the Super Bowl on the big screens at Studio Movie Grill. Twenty-five bucks isn't a lot of money, but this is clearly a horrible deal as it requires that you see the inside of a dank, crusty Studio Movie Grill. (Showtime is 4:30 p.m.)
Bailey's Prime Plus And the ridiculous deal winner is: Bailey's Prime Plus. They invite you to "party like a pro" and this weekend, with the purchase of a $20,000 magnum of 1961 Chateau Petrus, you get a five-course dinner for up to 10 free! Just twenty thousand dollars?! What a deal! For a measly 20 grand, you could buy a car -- or some booze and steak. We know you'll make the smart choice.
Lookee here for some Super Bowl events, meals, etc. that those of you who can't afford a $20,000 bottle of wine -- peasants -- might like.