Updated: Proof + Pantry Introduces the Porron to Dallas' Brunch Scene

Update: We were so excited about the porron drinking at Proof + Pantry we decided to send a videographer to capture the sloppy drinking action. Trust us, it gets pretty sloppy.

Original post: Remember when sucking in the rubber hose of a beer bong was, like, the coolest thing ever? I'm sure many of you went through that phase, and most, hopefully, eventually laid the plastic funnel to rest. If you're like me, just the sight of one of those devices of mass intoxication is enough to induce a subtle hangover through psychosomatic response.

Beer bongs are for kids. They're crass and crude and unbecoming of any individual with even a modicum of polish or refinement. Make a mass consumption device out of glass and fill it with rosé, however, and it's party time all over again. Dude.

Mass consumption for the sophisticated wine drinker.
Mass consumption for the sophisticated wine drinker.

Let's be honest. You've probably been waiting for something like the Spanish porron to come into your life since you hung your sneakers from the power lines at whatever undergraduate school you attended vowing never to return again. (Or at least until football season.) Pounding excess alcohol with flare is never wise, but it's always fun. And now it's ready and waiting for adults who choose Proof + Pantry as their weekend brunch destination.

It works like this: Fill the porron with wine, hold at arm's length above your head, gently tilt and consume from the somewhat gentle stream of nectar that is emitted from the device. If you can manage to swallow midstream (it's possible) you can theoretically down a bottle of vino before your eggs Benedict gets to the table. The entire restaurant will be cheering for you!

Obvious variations include getting your friend to pour, using a chair or using the roof of the building to achieve more height because every additional inch between the porron and your face increases the fun almost exponentially. You didn't think you were going to give up gravity-driven mass alcohol consumption forever, did you? Reunion Tower porron session, anyone? Just try and finish those eggs first, please. It's better that way for everyone.

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