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I half wanted to keep the news from you, if only for purposes of public protection. But when Whataburger announced a spicy ketchup contest, readers responded in resounding fashion. When the same condiment joined regular ketchup alongside mustard on Central Market and HEB shelves, readers freaked out about it. So the following news is obviously important to you. It's my duty to report.
Whataburger is expanding its line of grocery store consumables. Now you can buy the same creamy pepper sauce Whataburger employees squirt all over their patty melts and zig-zag it all over whatever is in your own kitchen. Honey mustard and peppercorn ranch, too. Soon you may be able to construct an entire Whataburger with the contents of your fridge.
That jalapeño ranch has me thinking. I've been known to ignore the stingy signage at Taco Joint and pump myself seven paper cups of that piquant, creamy dressing for breakfast taco dousing. Whataburger now gives us the opportunity to light up the breakfast tacos we make in our own home kitchen. And we can use all the jalapeño ranch we can afford.