UPDATE: You guys are some creative bastards, but you wouldn't last five minutes in the wild. Oh well. Under the parameters of this endeavor, you'd also be hammered. No better way to go.
Anyway, using a random number generator, we've selected two winners: Jeremy Ash, who slays foes with "I Gotta Feeling" remixes, and Wayne Reyna, who thinks flying doves can injure hippos. If we can't get a hold of them we'll dial up some new winners. Thanks for playing. We'll see you Saturday, until we don't.
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This Saturday, September 10, brings the Observer's first-ever beer festival, Brew at the Zoo, where you and your friends can sample beer from more than 30 breweries, including several that our resident beer snob is very excited about.
Tickets are $30 in advance, $40 at the door, and include unlimited 3-ounce beer samplings, which you will no doubt drink while standing in line for your next 3-ounce beer sampling. (VIP tickets are $60 but include better parking, which your designated driver will appreciate, and some other perks.)
However: You can get some for free right here, by amusing us and getting a little lucky. In the comments section below, answer this: You're stuck in the zoo with one keg of beer of your choice, one non-firearm weapon of your choice, and a zoo full of pissed off animals trying to kill you for some reason I'm too lazy to imagine. What's your weapon, what's your beer, and what's your strategy?
At 1 p.m. today, we'll take all the creative answers and randomly select two winners, who will each receive a pair of GA tickets. Make sure you comment using a real email address or Twitter account so we can contact you. And remember: These animals are coming for you, so there's no hiding out in the beer garden.