Yippee ki-yay, Mother Clucker
Lunch Special: Two pieces of rotisserie chicken, two sides, a wheat roll and a drink for $4.99
The good kind of peppermints count: a million
Hot sauce in a Coke bottle count: 1
Wedged in between the Condom Sense and Condoms to Go, the Cowboy Chicken at Lovers Lane and Greenville Avenue is not only tasty and inexpensive, it's also convenient. When you're in need of some rotisserie chicken and a 12-inch plasticized dong, it's as close to one-stop shopping as you'd want it to be.
For $4.99 plus tax, I got two pieces of dark meat rotisserie chicken, two sides (creamed spinach and mac 'n' cheese), a wheat roll and an iced tea. And it was damn good. It was crispy on the outside and juicy on the inside, just like it's supposed to be. (Some people would describe it as "moist" on the inside, but not me. I hate that word. And "supple." And "Weimaraner.")
The mac 'n' cheese was macky as well as cheesy, and the creamed spinach had some really good Parmesan cheese sprinkled on top. I'm going back to investigate all of the other options I could have had for side items. I'm not kidding. Narrowing it down to just two sides to eat with my chicken took a while. I really wanted the Famous Twice-Baked Potaters, but they were fresh out (which leads me to believe that the potaters are famous for being really good and not for being really gross). So, I already have to go back for those. And while I'm there, I'll probably try out the fried okra, sweet potatoes, sweet corn and black-eyed peas.
At this point, you might be asking, "Why would you subject yourself to a chicken place surrounded by sex shops when you could go across the street to Pluckers?" If you're asking that question, you're silly. But I'll answer it anyway. Pluckers is good, but you have to deal with the SMU kids who are all there on their lunch break waiting for Kinko's to make copies of the frat's outline for their pre-algebra 101 exam. They're big into glaring. Like just because I don't drive my mom's Benz I can't appreciate chicken. What the hell are people from SMU doing in a sports bar, anyway? Look SMUians, I know you've got your football billboards up all around town and you're stoked to be playing UNT this year and losing to Tech. It's cute. But you can't pop your collars and be good at football at the same time. These two things are mutually exclusive. Point is, don't go to Pluckers at lunchtime during the week, my friends. Go to Cowboy Chicken instead. And if (somehow) you miss the feeling of being around a bunch of dildos, you can always stop by Condom Sense next door.
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