What's In My Closet?

What's In My Closet: Rodent-Free Edition

By Richie Whitt
Jun 17, 2009

Gonna trek out to Carrollton this morning for some Cowboys' minicamp, so I'll leave you with a feel-good story. $13,000 my ass. In the end, getting rid of the furry, friggin' squirrel tresspassers in my attic and walls cost a whopping $275. That's $70 for two giant mousetraps, $5 for...
What's In My Closet? Horrible Ideas Edition

By Richie Whitt
Jun 2, 2009

Was just over on Unfair Park reading Schutze's take on the latest missle fired into the hull of the Trinity River Toll Road Waste Of Time Project. From the city that gave us the CueCat, plastic dividers on HOV lanes and P.C. Cobb Stadium downgraded into an InfoMart, this might be...
What's In My Closet: Bookworm Edition

By Richie Whitt
May 20, 2009

The Mavericks are gone. The Cowboys are in pre-pre-pre-training camp. The Rangers managed one measly hit against the Tigers. What to do with all this new-found free time? I know, let's read! Given a hammock, a cold beverage and 3 expendable hours, which one would you crack open?...
What's In My Closet: Attic Edition

By Richie Whitt
Apr 30, 2009

Screw the closet, I've got bigger issues today. In a word: Mothereffin'squirrels! First we hear scome scratch-scratch-scratching on the ceiling. Next some creepy scurrying in the walls. Then, while doing some spring shrubbing, I spot not one, but two holes in the corners of our roof. Softball-sized, swear. I go...
What's In My Closet? Random Edition

By Richie Whitt
Apr 22, 2009

Sometimes you clean out your closet and find valuable sports memorabilia that makes you go "Oh yeah!" But some unearthed crap, I dunno, makes you wonder if George Carlin wasn't right all along when he summed up life as just one big competition to see who could get the biggest...
What's In My Closet? Glass-Half-Full Edition

By Richie Whitt
Apr 8, 2009

Economy's a bummer. Taxes almost due. Stars out of the playoffs. He/She/It busy with other things. Times ... they are tough. But I arrive today with great good marginally better news: It could be worse. Much worse. When I cleaned out my hunks-o-junk closet I found not only some "Hey,...
What's In My Closet? Brush With Greatness Edition

By Richie Whitt
Apr 1, 2009

My career has its perks. I've sipped Mai Tais on Waikiki Beach with Troy Aikman. Shaken hands with Wayne Gretzky moments after his final NHL game. Seen - first hand - Roger Federer win at Wimbledon, Michael Johnson triumph in Atlanta and Michael Jordan sink his last shot as a...
What's In My Closet? NBA 50 Greatest Edition

By Richie Whitt
Mar 19, 2009

Snagged this poster during All-Star Weekend '97 in Cleveland. It's the NBA's 50 Greatest Players. Was going over it the other day and wondering how different it would look today? Would Kobe Bryant bump someone off? Who'd get cut? Would Tim Duncan squeeze into the picture? Steve Nash? Our own Dirk Nowitzki?...
What's In My Closet: America's Team Edition

By Richie Whitt
Mar 11, 2009

Psst, hey buddy. Can I interest you in this Terrell Owens fake Cowboys' locker room name plate sticker affixed to my wall? Merrily I don't need thee anymore. What I will cling onto - perhaps forever - are artifacts I rescued from my closet from Cowboys who wouldn't look right in...
What's In My Closet? Jackass Edition

By Richie Whitt
Mar 4, 2009

I did go 10 days without food and I'm committed to finishing this on December 13. But there was a time when I was a real, live thrill-seeker. Found some evidence recently. I wasn't insane in a Johnny Knoxville way or a one-on-one interview with Charles Haley sorta way, but as in...
What's In My Closet? Magical Moments Edition

By Richie Whitt
Feb 19, 2009

Actually, yes, I do know how lucky I am to be a sportswriter. Every once in a while, I just need to be reminded. Digging through my old box of media credentials usually does the trick. Jump for four of my all-time faves: (Of course, I don't have a pass from...
What's In My Closet? Steroid-Free Baseball Edition

By Richie Whitt
Feb 11, 2009

Found these two old pics over the holidays. In the one above I'm 7 at some rinky dink field in Duncanville; after the jump I'm 37 at a home-run contest at The Ballpark in Arlington. In each I'm a Rangers' fan, consumed not with steroids and HGH but rather batting...
What's In My Closet? Mavs' Media Row Edition

By Richie Whitt
Jan 28, 2009

Came across this photo of Mavs' press row (circa 199 ... 5?) recently and it made me: 1. Laugh hysterically. 2. Miss Reunion Arena. 3. Realize, "Hey, not a bad pic." Free subscriptions to the Dallas Observer and Sportatorium for anyone correctly identifying four people. Free use of my ice...
What's In My Closet? Presidential Edition

By Richie Whitt
Jan 21, 2009

I admit, I'm jaded. Cynical, more often than not. Some refer to it as grumpy. Been to my share of Super Bowls and Olympics and U.S. Opens and it takes something pret-ty special to get me authentically lathered up. But while watching yesterday's Presidental Inauguration, I got a chill down my...
What's In My Closet?

By Richie Whitt
Jan 14, 2009

As promised, I cleaned out my closet over the holidays. Hmm, what to do when it's Jan. 14 and you've already aced your New Year's resolution? I know, Show-n-Tell! As usual, the wittiest answers correctly identifying my closet's contents in vivid detail win a free week's subscription to both the Dallas Observer and this...
What's In My Closet?

By Richie Whitt
Dec 18, 2008

In this week's episode I briefly venture out of my closet - funny, but no reason to get your gaydars all revved up - and into the cold, cruel Dallas winter. Strange things, man. Some high-priced. Some low-priced. Others priceless. You know the drill. Correctly identify the following photos in detail...
What's in my Closet?

By Richie Whitt
Dec 11, 2008

Two New Year's Resolutions: A) Clean out my closet. B) Round up some decent goodies to give y'all motivation for guessing what's in my closet. Until then, this week's dusted-off episode includes a drummer, a quarterback and a golfer. Tell me which one's doing what and you'll receive a free, hearty pat...
What's In My Closet?

By Richie Whitt
Dec 4, 2008

'Scuse the mess, but this morning I'm rummaging through my closet looking for some stuff for an upcoming Observer cover story I'm working on.But, instead, I found junk. Lots and lots of junk. It's official, I'm a pack rat. All contained within one spare-bedroom closet. But it's there. All packy...