10 Dallas Women You've Probably Dated

Dating is hard. Dallas women are hard to figure out. Women are so complicated.

Lies. Those are all lies. In fact, there are exactly 10 types of Dallas women you have dated. No more, no less. We know this, because we are on the Internet. We have scoped out the dating field for you and given you this guide: 10 Dallas women you have probably dated. No, you most certainly have dated. All of this is 100 percent accurate, so no arguing.

See also: 10 Dallas Dudes You've Probably Dated

Suburban Cowgirl You've never seen her in heels. Only cowboy boots and jeans for this girl. She knows every local country music singer personally because she is a groupie. There is a chance she can outdrink you. She has definitely uttered the phrase, "You can take the girl out of the country, but you can't take the country out of the girl." She's from Mesquite. Where you can find her on Friday night: Katy Trail Ice House Plano, taking tequila shots.

SMU Student She loves yoga and pilates. She wants to be the next Erin Andrews. She's young and ambitious. No, seriously, be careful. Just because she looks older than 21 doesn't mean she is older than 21. She's VP of PR of her sorority and she takes it more seriously than you have ever taken anything in your life. Where you can find her on a Friday night: The Trophy Room. Maybe even on the mechanical bull.

Highland Park Girl She went to Camp Mystic for Girls when she was 12 and now she's 28 and she's still talking about it. She's just really nostalgic about archery and rowing, OK? She's a born-and-raised Highland Park gal. You aren't completely sure of her occupation. What are custom baby bows and how did you make a sort-of career out of making and selling them? Who is buying hair bows for their babies from a woman who has a degree in communications? Where you can find her on a Friday night: a friend's ranch.

Wannabe Highland Park Girl She lives in the 75219 ZIP code, which isn't exactly HP, not exactly Uptown. She attends Highland Park United Methodist Church just to be around the original HP kids. And she travels the extra couple of miles to grocery shop in Highland Park. Don't bother asking her on a date unless you are a Highland Park High School alumnus. Where you can find her on a Friday night: Monkey Bar.

Sunday School Girl If she's ever Instagrammed a picture of her Bible and a Starbucks cup, you have a diehard Watermark fan on your hands. She just likes to cuddle up with a warm cappuccino and the Word and you will always be second to that. She's also probably a Young Life leader, which means she knows all of the hip slang that high schoolers are using. Where you can find her on a Friday night: Playing board games with her community group, maybe sipping on some wine.

Displaced Dallasite She's from Austin and she doesn't like it when you occasionally forget that. Don't ever forget that. As much as she complains about it, she's been in Dallas for seven years and has no plans to move. Well, actually, if you take her Twitter bio that says "Brooklyn someday" into consideration, then yes, she will be out of here in no time. Where you can find her on a Friday night: Company Café, commenting on the lack of organic items.

Bishop Arts Snob She name drops well-known chefs she knows, like it matters, and complains about how much Uptown sucks. The Bishop Arts District is the only place for her and her crew. The men she dates are bi-curious, but it's fine. She doesn't care. Where you can find her on a Friday night: Bolsa restaurant in the Bishop Arts District.

Deep Ellum Diva She has tattoos of birds on several parts of her body. She only drinks craft beer and she believes in soul mates but not in monogamy. She only hangs around other equally-as-ironic hipsters on the weekends, but that's because during the week she's stuck wearing long sleeves and slacks and doodling on her notebook at her commercial real estate office job. Where you can find her on the weekend: Deep Ellum at some art show, flirting with men with handlebar mustaches.

Model D She models something. She hasn't been in Vogue or anything like that, but she has been in Papercity Magazine a few times. And there was that time she bugged everyone to vote for her for D Magazine's "10 Most Beautiful Women in Dallas." You know she's a model because her Instagram is filled with photos from photoshoots, but you aren't sure how she makes a living. But you don't really care. You're dating a model. Where you can find her on a Friday night: Someone's garage smoking cigarettes to keep her warm and skinny.

Big D Cup She somehow finds a way to make designer clothes look cheap. She has big hair, bigger dreams and the biggest boobs you've ever seen. She's an aspiring Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader, but will settle for Red Bull promotional girl. Where you can find her on a Friday night: Sherlock's Pub in Addison.

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Paige Skinner has written for the Dallas Observer since 2014.
Contact: Paige Skinner