2.) Race What Your Momma Gave You -- If you guys are rich, or just bonded over that movie Crash, why not up the adrenaline with an expensive car rental? Exotic Driving Experience has a Valentine's Day deal where you can rent one exotic car (Ferrari, Lamborghini, or other vehicles with pasta-like names), and then get a second rental at half-price.
Ladies: Maybe you could wear one of those pleather jumpsuits that zips up the front -- you know, like from the Charlie's Angels movies or those GoDaddy commercials. Dudes: Maybe you can wear one too. Because really, girls just want guys who can make them laugh. These rentals happen on the interior loop of Texas Motor Speedway and they range in price based on which car you pick.
3.) Bottle and a Bucket at Sissy's -- Here's the deal: only crazies want more than champagne and fried chicken for Valentine's Day. If you're dating one of said crazies, just break up with them. Hell, if you're dating someone who even suspects sexier things exist than combining fried chicken and champagne, break up with them.
Congratulations, you're free. See, you want what we all want: someone to share a 10 piece bucket and bottle of Moët with. Sissy's is providing the package deal, which will run you $75 (there are upgrades available, but you don't need them). Just bring someone you want to leave grease prints on later. Make a reservation, or you'll be substituting Amazingest Meal Ever with Chicken House and Ballatore. Call 214-827-9900 or hit up the website.