12 Awesome Things To Do This Weekend, September 12 to 16

Why? Because this weekend is crowdsurf, come on down good. That's why.

Immediately locate your smallest outfit because the Alan Ross Texas Freedom Parade is this Sunday. Got a glitter allergy? Okay, fine. How about the year's biggest vinyl toy show; a party for our favorite local jewelry line; or the most gargantuan tattoo and music bash this city's ever seen?

That's what I thought. Now, let's dive in. As always, share this list with your party crew and click the event titles for more information. I'll see you out there. (I'll be the one Grand Marshaling the parade with a beadazzled baton.)

Thursday, September 12 Vinyl Thoughts Art Show -- The biggest party for Dunny, Munny and all things -unny enthusiasts happens tonight at Quixotic World. There's no cover, drinks will be poured and you'll cruise a room where hand-crafted work by more than 40 artists brawls for you attention.

f. is for frank New Collection Party -- The girls over at our favorite jewelry studio have designed a gorgeous new line and it's themed after the beautiful succulents that fillout the Texas landscape. Dipped aloe leaves and sedum limbs bend and twist to form rings, necklaces and other decadent goodies. But wait, there's more! They're throwing a party tonight from 6 to 9. You'll get first dibs on the new stuff AND get full-run of the just-marked-down clearance goods. Plus, there's cocktails.

Matt and Ben at Bath House Cultural Center -- Written by Mindy Kaling and her best friend Brenda Withers, this play puts women in the roles of Matt Damon and Ben Affleck. It tells a new version of how they wrote Good Will Hunting, one that involves a lot of happy accidents and a little light magic.

Friday 9.13 Elm Street Music and Tattoo Festival -- Oliver Peck's massive needle party hits overload Friday as 50 artists contribute signature 13s for the epic tattooathon. This thing's gonna get crazy, so call up E-frog and kick it over there.

Your Favorite Haunted Houses are Open! -- If you like pressing the limits of your terror boundaries, you're in luck. This Friday marks the kick-off of most of your favorite haunts, plus a new one that's designed to resemble a gory circus filled with killer clowns. Already uncomfortable? Yes, me too.

Saturday 9.14 Three Great Art Shows That You Should See -- I hope you didn't blow your art wad last weekend because this Saturday has its own openings worth celebrating. There's hair art at Mighty Fine; an equilibrium-bending exhibition at Talley Dunn; and my favorite, a layered construction zone over at The Reading Room.

Boylesque Presents "Cult Classics" -- Just when you thought it couldn't get campier than all-male burlesque, the fellas decide to honor the B-rated villains, heroes and all-around great stars of discarded celluloid. All your favorites will be there: characters from Clue, Princess Bride and The Matrix, along with Elvira, Mistress of the Dark, Divine and Mister Rogers.

Cans for Cans Food Drive at Red Arrow Contemporary -- You like drinking. You also like do-gooding. You've got extra cans of tuna and jars of peanut butter wedged into your pantry. CONGRATULATIONS! You're the perfect candidate for Saturday's party. You'll get a can of Real Ale Brewing beer for every can of food you fork over. (Up to three.) There'll be food trucks, live music and the feeling that you paid it forward -- straight to your liver.

Gay Day at Six Flags -- Celebrate Pride week the old fashioned way: puking awkwardly after departing the Texas Giant. They're offering $35 tickets in lieu of their usual $65 ones, so brave that heatwave and enjoy special LGBT (and allies) rates.

Sunday, September 15 Alan Ross Texas Freedom Parade -- Because it legally isn't GLTB Pride Week without a parade and because you love an extreme skin-to-glitter ratio, we'll see you in Cedar Springs. Remember: Parking will be a cruel joke, so plan ahead and hop on that DART.

Music and Masterpieces at the DMA -- It's a one-two punch of music and visual art. Texas-born tenor David Portillo performs a free concert followed by a docent-led tour of the Dallas Museum of Art's Mesoamerican, South American and Mexican collections. Get those Friend points!

Monday, September 16 Shitty Kisses Comedy Tour -- I don't usually extend beyond the weekend on these lists, but this Parade of Flesh showcase demands your attendance. Everything you need to know about headliner Josh Androsky can be summed up in this amazing video of him, loaded up on mushrooms and booze, coming on down during an episode of The Price is Right.

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