14 Awesome Things to Do in Dallas this Weekend, June 27 to 30

[Note to self: Buy more bodysuits.]

Flashdance the Musical is jog-dancing in Fair Park, educating a new generation of ladies that it's possible to be both a gentleman's club headliner and a welder. You're welcome, planet.

That ain't all: This weekend is loaded up with art openings, magazine release parties, a pro series boxing match, free movies, brewery tours, pool parties, comedians, pole dancing classes, baseball with your favorite German basketball star and even a formal attire Swinger's Ball. Somewhere in there you'll find your favorite thing, once you do, share this list with your posse, make a plan and click on the event titles for more information. I'll see you out there. (I'll be the one dance-welding in sensible shoes.)

Thursday 6.27 Brewery Tours at Four Corners -- Dallas has strange brewery laws. Since we can't buy beer directly from these joints, a brewery tour culture has emerged. Four Corners is the most intimate experience, offering small groups, cheap door fees and a bunch of great beer. Happy Thursday.

Free Screening of Ferris Bueller's Day Off -- Kick it down to Cowtown today for free admission to the Amon Carter, closing with a free outdoor screening of everyone's bucket list sick day flick, Ferris Bueller's Day Off.

Outrageous Oral -- I'm going to give you a moment to get irrationally excited before I take it away from you. Ready? [clock ...ticks ....down.] A--aa--nd, we're back. Outrageous Oral isn't a porn wonderland, it's a storytelling night at the Rose Room where influential neighbors from the LGBT community share inspiring, personal tales. It's free, kids. Friday 6.28 Bud Light Pro Fight Series #3 -- This one's gonna be a real barn burner. This leg of the popular boxing series features two Texas talents battling for top billing. It's an eight-round welterweight division fight between McKinney's Albert Rodriquez 9-1 (4KO's) and Harlingen's Esteban Almarez, 10-5 (4KO's).

Summertime in Kandyland -- If your Fridays have been a little... unsexy (I'm lookin' at you, Netflix.), maybe it's time to shake things up. There's a new pole dancing workshop scheduled on Friday evenings that promises to strengthen your core and give you stripper booty. [Warning: might incite spontaneous grinding.] Mo'Nique -- She's hosted her own talk show, starred on a top-billed comedy series and got down and dirty in Precious. This weekend, she's just Mo'Nique, the comedian you love from those Apollo specials. She's at the Arlington Improv for a two-night run.

Saturday 6.29 Must-See Gallery Openings: Galleri Urbane and Cohn Drennan -- It's lunchmeat (less than) catfood at Cohn Drennan, a group show promising an art installation composed of food -- which is what I dream about most nights. Galleri Urbane celebrates its entire talent stable, including a newcomer and personal favorite, Irby Pace. Look for his new series, where condensed pigments explode in landscapes on Saturday.

semigloss. Magazine Issue Three Release Party -- Don't bother asking Siri where That That Gallery is, you'll plug this address in direct (3901 Main St., Dallas). Or just look for the 300 cars lined up, filled with ten dollar bill-holding artsy types. If you're curious about semigloss., grab a copy of this week's Observer; it's a special issue showcasing the folks who enrich Dallas' fabric. semigloss. Magazine is the art spawn of Sally Glass, one of those chosen. This issue is all about failure, a topic we all know -- perhaps a bit too intimately.

Pool Party Benefiting Girls Rock Camp Dallas at the F.O.E. -- Youthful female empowerment through music. Water cannons. Dollar JELL-O shots. If you support even one of those things, you'll be at the Fraternal Order of Eagles on Saturday. Dig?

Dirk Nowitzki's 2013 Heroes Celebrity Baseball Game -- Cuban, Dirk and a whole buncha other sports celebs tug on the funny long pants for a day of baseball, benefiting Dirk's favorite children's charities.

50 Shades of Erotica Swinger's Ball -- In addition to featuring his/hers stripper shows, pile-on playrooms and one extremely awkward continental breakfast, this black-tie Swinger's Gala is also a military fundraiser. It's true! All of this weekend's cross-pollination boning goes to support the Wounded Warrior Project, a group that's probably very confused about its new generous benefactor.

Sunday 6.30 David Alan Grier -- He's in town all weekend, making Sunday your final chance to throw two snaps up, in a circle, to your favorite In Living Color ex-pat.

Flashdance, The Musical -- There aren't enough stories about one-shoulder sweatshirt wearing welder/dancers. Until supply catches up to demand, see the only one that matters, done as a stage musical production, in Fair Park. It's Lean In friendly.

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