16 Awesome Things To Do in Dallas This Weekend, September 26 to 29

Word on the street is Big Tex got a booty upgrade, so when you go to the Fair's opening weekend, you'll want to admire his new assed-up Dickies.

Not ready for fried? Fine, there's plenty to do this weekend, like a great comedy show at Texas Theatre; a burlesque party with Satan himself scratching the turntables; a leather-bound fetish festival; a Big Tex-themed art show; professional wrestling, and yes: a whole messa Breaking Bad watch parties. We've got all of that -- and more -- in the weekend list.

Click the event titles for more information, share this party guide with your crew and go do a thing. I'll see you out there. (I'll be the one uprocking Satan.)

Thursday 9.26 Seven Deadly Sins Burlesque and Sideshow -- Veer away from more traditional burlesque and gravitate to the dark side in this production, organized by Frausun. Oh, hey, maybe you've heard of the night's DJ? ...Satan? Yes, it took a bit of finagling, but Mr. Itch is booked to scratch wax. It's happening at Wits End.

Booktoberfest at Lakewood Brewing Co. -- Get ripped for a great cause on Thursday as Lakewood hosts a brewery tour, beer tastings, food, live music and an auction with prizes that run from growlers to getaways. The $25 admission fee goes to school Read-A-Thon programs, and to raise book money for kids in Asia and Africa. We can all drink to that.

When Dallas Rocked -- Austin steals our musical thunder today, but in the '70s Dallas was the industry hotbed. This new, locally-made documentary looks back at those golden years through concert footage, interviews and a seriously killer backbeat. You only get one shot to see it, so get in there.

Friday 9/27 Meanwhile...Back in Dallas! -- Billed as "part homage, part freak-show" this solo exhibition by artist and Dallas Observer Mastermind winner, Brian K. Jones, has already won us over. No coupons are required for this ode to state fair icon, Big Tex. Instead you'll see a short film made of 50 individual paintings of our great corn dog guardian. Those works making the meat of the animation will also be displayed at RO2. Yes, it will be delightfully freaky.

THE STATE FAIR OPENS!!! -- Tex is back, risen like some bilingual phoenix, and gets installed on Friday. That means it's time to quell your corndog craving, drop acid until the butter sculpture 'melts,' and ride Kick-it! until you puke on Shiny New Tex. (Bonus: X and Blondie are playing on Saturday.)

See also: The Cheap Bastard's Guide to the State Fair

Behind the Screen Comedy at Texas Theatre -- There's a special feel to this monthly show, organized by local comedy booker Elizabeth Howard. For $5 you get an intimate, make-shift club, housed back behind the movie theater's screen. This month's line-up is especially great, with Austin comics Mac Blake (Funniest Person in Austin, 'Mascot Wedding', Master Pancake) and Ralphie Hardesty (The Encyclopedia Show) joining the party.

Ink Opening Reception at White Space -- This group show is a look at the shifting meaning and evolution of ink itself, so pop by and see what 42 local artists have to say on the topic.

One by One, an All-Instagram Art Show -- The "art" of Instagram has its admirers and its detractors. While some say it waters down the craft of photography, others counter that availability creates a more photo-appreciative world. See how your neighbors take the app well-beyond the world of selfies and watermarks in this tidy group show. (There's free admission, cocktails and ride cards from Lyft.)

Detroit at Kitchen Dog Theater -- This summery tale looks at a clutch of new neighbors huddled around a grill. What's being served up you ask? Humor, naturally -- as told through shared stories of substance abuse, unemployment and other FTW topics.

Saturday 9.28 Beyond Vanilla 23 -- Somebody cue up "Venus in Furs", it's time to slide a foot into your shiniest leather boots and walk awkwardly downtown for Beyond Vanilla 23, a place where fetishes can safely arm-wrestle. There's even a special Puppy Trainer/ Puppy award -- we don't know what that means. You pee on a pad and someone rubs your nose in it? Lots of belly scratches? Dunno.

WWE Live -- Awe, what's that? Your favorite wrestlers have all retired? Suck it up, wimp: this is pro wrestling we're talking about. Someone will get hit with a chair/thrown through a table/possibly abducted by ninjas and the world will be better because of it.

See also: The 13 Greatest WTF Moments in Professional Wrestling History

Topo-Tarantualas at WARE:WOLF:HAUS -- For the inaugural exhibition at local artist Arthur Peña's work/play space, you'll get a two-man show that juggles sculpture and architecture. From the event page: "The work requires the audience to suspend their sense of environment and enter a physically challenging setting through a portal that takes the shape of a van." We jam econo? Belt me in.

Walk a Mile in Her Shoes -- I'm not going to lie: Walking a mile in high heels blows. Most of us keep "comfy shoes" on hand so we never have to do it. That's why ladies should go to this event, where men walk one mile in pumps to stand for women's rights and in turn, draw attention to sexual assault. These are the stand-up dudes. Doll yourself up, pick one out and never let him get away. Any man willing to walk a mile in pumps to support lady rights is a keeper.

The Greek Food Festival of Dallas -- Between the Greek Festival and the Fair, you'll need to double-up at the movie gym this week. But seriously, that's why movie gyms exist.

Sunday 9.29 Breaking Bad: The Final Episode Watch Parties -- Nobody wants to go it alone through this finale, and thanks to a whole mess of bars and nightclubs, nobody has to. Check out our list of hot spots to keep the lonely meth jitters at bay.

Lewis Black -- Don't have enough anger in your life? Don't worry: Lewis Black is back at Bass Hall, assuring you that everything is shit.

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