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Whether you're hungry, excited about Rangers Opening Day, feeling adventurous, or craving art, comedy or opera, this list is packed with satisfaction. It's what we call a BIG DALLAS WEEKEND. So make a plan, share this with your crew, and click on the event titles for more information. I'll see you out there. (I'll be the one throwing like a girl.)

Thursday 4.4 Bobcat Goldthwait -- Surprise career resurgence alert: Bobcat has outgrown the wheezy, twisted vocal shtick and turned into quite a respected filmmaker. According to his website, he's here to do stand-up at Hyena's for a two-night run. I like to imagine he's a last minute add on to all of the DIFF panels.

Boyd Matson -- He's an old-school adventurer. The type who naps with lions and summons elephants by blowing through a shell. The journalist and National Geographic Explorer host will be at the Arboretum for one night. (It's catch and release, folks.)

Three Art Openings in Deep Ellum Deep Ellum windows and Apophenia Underground have started filling Deep Ellum's vacant storefronts with art. These shows are often short-lived, lasting for as little as one night and stretching up to a couple of weeks. They're also reactions to the abandoned spaces they inhabit. Three of these open on Thursday, and all are organized by Oliver Francis Gallery. Explore them from 7 to 10 p.m. this evening. Kristin Oppenheim She Was Long Gone at 2652 Main Street: Cram some art in your ears at this sound installation, being done in collaboration with 303 Gallery, NYC. Hannah Hudson "Compliance" at 2650B Main Street: She had one of my favorite pieces at My My Misfire, a Deep Ellum Windows/Apophenia Underground kick-off group show, curated by UT Arlington Professor Stephen Lapthisophon. I'm excited to see what happens when she has the floor to herself. An MFA student, Hudson plays with role reversal. You become part of her work by viewing it interactively. Luis Miguel Bendaña, Nick DeMarce and Pierre Krause present P_E_R_I_S_H_A_B_E_L at 2646 Main Street: No, I do not know why that word is misspelled in this three-man show. Maybe it's art?

Friday 4.5 Burlesque Prom -- Finally, a prom where everyone gets some. Viva Dallas queens it up at the Lakewood Theater on Friday night and you're in luck, they're all going stag.

Deep Ellum Arts Festival -- It's a biggie for the 'hood, with three days of music, art and food. One of the largest draws happens on Sunday during the annual Pooch Parade. (Think bandana, not tu-tu.)

Baseball Opening Day Celebration at Texas Theatre -- You know what's closer than Arlington? Oak Cliff. Take a long lunch break at Texas Theatre as the Rangers kick this year off with a victory against the Angels. They'll have baseball snacks at the ready, but no word on foam fingers.

Re-Designing Women -- Uptown Players revamp the Sugarbakers in this all-male cast, which is a thing they're into. Remember, their last play was Silence of the Clams. (No telling if you'll see their Delta Burkes.)

Turandot Opening Night -- You haven't been shot down until you've been shot down by Turandot, Puccini's lead mean girl in The Dallas Opera's latest work, which opens on Friday.

Saturday 4.6 DIFF Family Day Screens The Sandlot at Klyde Warren Park -- Stop melting my glacier heart, DIFF! This charming day of family togetherness is completely free. There will be interactive stations and cameos by different area arts organizations, but best of all, they're screening The Sandlot. (Look out ladies; it's a real womb-shaker.)

Glut Life Meat and Greet at Studio 410 -- When our blog friends over at Glut Life throw a party, do yourself a solid and show up. (Also, learn the ins and outs of getting drunk at Taco Bell here.) When they hold it at Studio 410, our favorite Davis Street beauty mecca, we start canceling our Sunday plans as well. Fill up on meat and get your nails did starting at 6 p.m.

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ArtsPark -- Every arts organization in town shows up to NorthPark on Saturday afternoon. It's a way for you to familiarize yourself with who's doing what and how you can be involved, but it's also free family fun, so expect a bunch of hands-on activities. Big Texas Beer Festival -- Mmm, beer festival. It's the second year they've done it, fill up the automobile building of Fair Park with more than 100 beer sampling booths. There's live music by The O's and Fish Fry Bingo, plus food trucks for sopping-up purposes.

Three Design District Art Openings You Should Go To -- Saturday is a big night for gallery openings in and around Dragon Street, but if you can only do three I'd tackle Conduit, for Chuck and George's show in the Project Room, then check out the best of our MFA talent at The Best, a group joint happening at Red Arrow Contemporary that shows one promising MFA candidate from each of our area universities. Finally, shut it down at Circuit 12. The gallery turns one year young this month and celebrates with a hyped-up line-up in its new show, Milestone #1, followed by an afterparty. Yep, you don't have to leave Dragon when the wine gets locked up. Thanks, Circuit 12.

Sunday 4.7 Pizzicato Porno at Ro2 Art, Downtown -- This experimental collaboration between Danielle Georgiou and Justin Locklear takes you to the worst emotional tipping point: the relationship's end. Filled out with projections on weather balloons, dance, music performed live and one rubber chicken, Porno is a smattering bombardment of sensory intake. You get one shot at it, so go.It's free.

The Dog Bowl -- Each year the Cotton Bowl converts into a giant dog park filled with kiddie pools for one afternoon. Your mutt can plop into watery bliss or make a touchdown run to the goal line. He's an athlete, after all. There will also be adoptions onsite, discounted vaccinations, and pooch-specific vendors like pet portrait painters.