(Wait through the ad. It's worth it)

Well, now you're awake. That was just one snippet from tonight's Found Footage Festival at Texas Theatre.

Add another work week to the body count and get ready for a three-finger pour of not-office. Unstuffy art pops up all over Dallas on Saturday; Texas Theatre airs out the old VHS attic Thursday, then flips to 35-mm for a Wrath of Khan weekend; and humanitarian/hero Temple Grandin speaks at the Dallas Museum of Art on Friday. Yes! It's the weekend you worked for.

Click the event titles for more information and share this list with your fellow cultural spelunkers. I'll see you out there. (I'll be the one mask-dancing with the elderly.) Thursday 5.9 Found Footage Festival -- Swoon over the VHS heyday with the fellas from Found Footage Festival at Texas Theatre. It's going to get a little weird when Joe and Nick launch in, showing off the most peculiar snippets from the low-distribution era, and that's precisely why you're going. They've been owning this game for nine years strong and never disappoint.

A.D.D. at White Space -- This big sloppy group show combines artists from Austin, Dallas and Denton. Will turf wars break out over canvas? You won't know if you don't go.

Cindy Sherman, Artist as Model -- If you're feeling high-brow and worldly, check out this DMA offering. The lecture relates self-portraiture -- Sherman's iconic format -- across cultural lines with works from the museum's permanent collection.

Friday 5.10 Dr. Temple Grandin -- She operates on a different frequency than the rest of us, and Grandin used that natural distinction to restructure the slaughterhouse system. Now, massive meat-users like Burger King and McDonald's operate under Grandin's watch, and the cows meet a calm, merciful end. The animal rights champion and autism activist speaks at the DMA for one night.

The Midnight Ramble: A Sex, Funk And Rock 'n Soul Revival -- Burlesque! Go-go! Fire dancing! Rock 'n Soul! It's a review with a backbeat. The tail feather wiggling goes down at the Boiler Room. Star Trek II: Wrath of Khan -- Did someone say "KHAA-A-AN!?" In preparation for the newest Trek flick, Texas Theatre takes it back to the old school for a 35-mm tribute to Spock -- wherever he is... Saturday 5.11 Four, One Night Only Art Shows in Deep Ellum -- Part of the Deep Ellum Windows projects (a real estate/art partnership that's turning Deep Ellum into a massive pop-up gallery) is Saturday's four show/address release. Spoiler alert: You'll want to see 'em all. -- There's a solo show by Michael Mazurek called American Redoubt 11.4.2014 on 2633 Main. -- A lone wolf project by Stephen Lapthisophon, titled Zimmerplatz 2013 and showing at 2650B Main, has the enticing description of being "A room to exchange ideas. To listen, to see and to smell the destiny of rot." -- There's A mysteriously theatrical work by collective Apophenia Underground called Rosalind, that's being presented by Caulene Hudson at 2525 Main. -- And a show that curiously occurs for only 45 minutes on a Saturday night in Dallas, Randall Garrett's To Dissolve Space Into Luminosity. It runs from 10:15 p.m. to 11 p.m.

Accessories in the Nude -- Part fundraiser, part accessories show, this fashion affair is, quite sadly, a clothed one. Sorry.

North Texas Beer and Wine Festival -- Game plan: Grab a designated driver and cruise down to the Irving Convention Center. Pay him or her in high fives. Drink your way through this fest of boozy delights like Templeton eating his way through a fair. Fall asleep reminiscing. Chair Art in the Park -- Dallas students (sixth to twelfth grades) have created enough crazy art chairs to fill a warehouse. On Saturday the finished work will be positioned around Klyde Warren Park and auctioned off. Money raised goes to the Dallas Children's Advocacy Center so it can continue its art and music therapy programs for abused kids. It'll be great eye candy and it's for a lovely cause. Check it out.

Monster Under the Bed: Sleepy Dan at Circuit 12 -- Local illustrator/artist/potential friend, Sleepy Dan takes over Circuit 12 for a night to showcase his latest line of monster-themed works. It's a cash and carry joint, followed by 12's Wax Addicts record party.

That Mortal Coil: Rebuking the Ideal in Figurative Art -- Get to CentralTrak for this newest curated show by Director Heyd Fontenot. A lot of favorites have made the cut, including Ari Richter, Brian K. Jones, and Public Trust darling, Taro-kun. They, and others, will work to show off the unconventionally beautiful elements of the human condition. Sunday 5.12 Mother's Day Five Non-Brunch Ideas for Spending Time With Mom My top picks (Including a diamond dig, Medieval Times and the Nasher's Special Wolfgang Puck Brunch with Mimosa Bar) Mother's Day at the Zoo

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