Bluto's right. Psychotic, but absolutely right. We can't give up. It's ... THE WEEKEND.

Texas Theatre screens Animal House on Friday night, followed by a toga party. Anthony Jeselnik brings his gelled hair and poisoned tongue to the House of Blues on Thursday. And if you're still hurting for action, there are Tracy Morgan, Ira Glass, an outdoor screening of Back to the Future, a massive pool party at Ku De Ta, an East Side Gallery walk, Margaret Atwood, an anime convention and more. So grab your children's hoverboard, call up your crew and click on the event titles for more information.

I'll see you out there. (I'll be the one toga-ing in Star Wars sheets.)

Thursday 5.30 Anthony Jeselnik -- He carved out his fame writing jokes for, and eventually slinging them on, Comedy Central's celebrity roasts. Now Jeselnik has his own show, a stand-up routine that's selling out national venues and an unflinchingly raw delivery we haven't seen since the Andrew Dice Clay days. Lovers of the politically correct, duck and cover.

Cesar Millan -- Every episode of Dog Whisperer can be summed up the same way: It's your fault. All of those quirks, foibles and destructive tendencies are just your pup exhibiting the behaviors you encourage. I know, it sucks. Fortunately Cesar's a canine shaman, and he'll share his secrets to proper furchild communication at the Winspear tonight.

Panel Discussion for That Mortal Coil -- There's no shortage of conversational fodder in That Mortal Coil, CentralTrak's new group show that finds beauty in the physical form's most remote locations. People who know more than you will be leading that body talk tonight, so go learn a thing. It's free.

Friday 5.31 The Overserved Summer Kick-off Pool Party at Ku De Ta -- Deb Doing Dallas, Sarah Jaffe, Pro Nail Princessa and DJ Trademark take turns rocking your body next to Ku's gorgeously seductive pool. I dare you to cannonball. It's free, 21 and uppers.

Animal House in 35 mm with a Toga Party -- This 35-year-old salute to underdogs is still the greatest college party movie ever made starring John Belushi, and on Friday, Texas Theatre will show the thing for one screening only. When the last Omega gets his, there's a toga party in the lounge. (Ladies, toga parties are a great way to check out a guy's ... thread count.)

Aziz Ansari -- Before he was a nationally recognized comic, a Human Giant creator and star and a television swag peddler, Aziz Ansari was an awkward kid with a super addictive website, Azizisbored.com. There's always been something special about this one; see him at Verizon for one night only.

A-KON -- I like thinking about convention regulars preparing for A-Kon: They're holding up different Dragon Ball Z costumes in front of a full-length mirror, hemming and hawing over which one is the raddest and questioning whether others have already seen it. (Sigh, I love you nerds. You make life fun.)

Margaret Atwood -- She got me and every other feministy aspiring riot grrrl through adolescence with A Handmaid's Tale. Then, she comforted our transition into adult relationships with books of poetry and shorts, like Power Politics and Good Bones and Simple Murders. She's our wise owl, always has been, and on Friday she'll speak at the DMA. Get a ticket and honor your literary matriarch.

An Iliad -- If anyone's going to lift the Iliad up and breathe excited life into its lungs, it's Undermain Theatre. This two-man salute to literature's most famous hand-me-down recited epic comes with folksy musical accompaniment.

Saturday 6.1 Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown Gazpacho Party -- Pata Negra, the monthly film series at Texas Theatre that shows only Spain's best cinema, is turning one year young on Saturday. To celebrate, they'll serve up gazpacho and tapas and show the Almodóvar romp Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown. East Dallas Gallery Day -- It's back, and ready to get you drunk and cultured. This self-guided tour opens the doors of the city's more experimental galleries -- the artful nooks and crannies of Expo Park and Deep Ellum. There are grab bags at each location for those who venture out early, and beer sponsorship by Ben E. Keith. It's free, and runs from noon to 8 p.m.

Music for Moore Tornado Relief Rummage Sale -- The last few weeks have been emotionally crushing. From Granbury to Moore and the scattered cities in between, we all want to do something, anything, to help. On Saturday, you have two ways to give: Donate your old records, media goodies, CDs, etc to the rummage sale at Crown and Harp, or buy someone's donated stuff. Any cash brought in goes to Moore improvement efforts.

214Trans4m -- I love the work of Dallas photographers Daniel Kusner and Brian Amann. By using transgendered models to pay homage to iconic female figures and local landmarks, they stage scenes that fiddle with your concepts of masculinity and femininity. Plus, they're fun. A new show of theirs opens at CentralTrak on Saturday night as an offshoot of That Mortal Coil.

Ira Glass -- He's guided us through stories about crying on airplanes, taught us the history of Medieval Times (dinner and rodeo) and turned us on to some of our very favorite authors. Now, you can learn Ira Glass' magic -- while LOOKING AT HIM -- at the Winspear.

Run for your Lives -- I understand zombie runs better than I do normal marathons. At least at Run for your Lives someone is chasing you and threatening that a vague, physical catastrophe might occur if they catch up. Sweat. Jog. Don't get gobbled.

Sunday 6.2 15th Annual Festival of Independent Theaters -- This annual festival is a great excuse to visit the Bath House Cultural Center. That perfect little venue gives refuge to theater troupes lacking a home base for the next few weeks, starting this weekend. Since this run is your only shot at seeing these works, you'll wanna buy a festival pass and get comfy. Free, BYOB Outdoor Screening of Back to the Future -- Great Scott! Your favorite film about time traveling in a DeLorean just got cooler, thanks to ATT Center's Sunset Screenings. Pack a picnic, stick some wine in it, and remember Crispin Glover before he got so skeezy. Then, truck over to Strauss Square (next to the Winspear) for a free outdoor celebration of puffy vests.

Tracy Morgan -- He once told you to live every week like it's Shark Week, wisdom that you'll hold close during life's toughest moments. On Sunday, you can see what a cleaned-up, less crazy (?), post-30 Rock Tracy Morgan has to say about the world. Or you can just revel in the uncomfortableness of it all. Either way.

Tuesday 6.4 Special Tuesday Night Trash "Extremists and Transgressors," guest curated by Michael Morris -- For one night Texas Theatre will reduce its regularly scheduled millimeters and then, well, I don't know. Hellmouth might open? Yes! Guest curator Michael Morris, breaks from his experimental/expanded cinema/Gene Youngblood 3-D hologram shrine-building/video art missions for a night, in order to get weird and trashy on Texas Theatre's projector(s). He's screening George Kuchar's "Hold me While I'm Naked," 15 minutes, 16 mm, from 1966; Richard Kern's "Submit to Me," 8 minutes, Super 8 mm, from 1986; Beth B and Scott B's "Letters to Dad," 11 minutes, 16 mm from 1978; Jennifer Reeder's "White Trash Girl: The Devil Inside," 8 min, Super 8 mm and Hi8 Video from 1995; and Nick Zedd's "Police State," 18 minutes, 16 mm, from 1987. This is completely free, utterly odd and mandatory. On Tuesday, give yourself the gift of trash.

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