Late night talk show host Conan O'Brien is already in town running around and doing God-knows-what to our beloved city probably while wearing a ridiculous, oversized cowboy hat. That's not a crack about his giant head. That's just what we assume they hand out to out-of-towners as soon as they get off the plane because no one we know here wears those things.
Some of O'Brien's best TV moments didn't involve vomiting puppets or torturing his producer Jordan Schlansky as a weird form of "pre-justice" because he clearly exhibits the creepy demeanor of a serial killer. Conan always works best when his show sets him loose in some unfamiliar setting like the world's most famous toy store, FAQ Schwarz, the American Girl doll store or an 1864 style baseball league. We're sure he's already started filming some remotes for his block of Dallas shows (some nice people in Cleburne tipped us off that he's doing some kind of "Deputy for a Day" piece with the local sheriff's office) but we thought one of these places deserved at least a quick visit.
The Anger Room The only business that lets you smash up stuff for a nominal fee sounds like the kind of place that was made for late night show remotes. The Anger Room on Gould Street has become a popular anomaly for people looking for something weird and untamed to do that doesn't involve heavy drinking. Imagine watching late night's redheaded stepchild suit up in white coveralls so he can smash up a room full of stuff for our amusement. If he hasn't managed to work out the rage that NBC caused him when they took The Tonight Show from him, then killing a TV with a sledgehammer that has Jay Leno's big fat face plastered on it should more than do the trick.
Dolly Python The best locations for late night remotes are those that have plenty of strange, weird props for comedians to improvise with and ridicule on camera. The famed vintage collectible shop on North Haskell Avenue is basically a giant toy box for comedy remotes. Anyone who has spent more than five minutes in the place knows how easy it is to get lost in its weird collection of stuff you never knew existed like skull shaped spoons, assorted collections of preserved animal parts and vintage beer can collections. Conan could buy out the store and have enough stuff to do live remotes long after he's left the Lone Star State.
Whataburger Even if you're a four-star diner who eats almost every meal with at least two different kinds of forks, you still probably stop in for a Chophouse Cheddar Burger at Whataburger now and then in the dead of night when your foodie friends are fast asleep. This Texas fast food institution is filled with all sorts of colorful characters ripe for the picking for a late night show's camera crew and we're sure they already know that since they were spotted at one in Cleburne last week. We're sure that one of them would be willing to let TBS' big lug don an orange striped paper hat and fling a few burgers and one-liners on the grill for one of his Dallas shows.
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Any storage auction Thanks to reality TV's never-ending quest to tap into viewers' insecurities about financial stability and emotionally unfulfilled careers, storage auctions are the next big local thing. Auctions of all kinds have always been here but an unstable economy and people's inability to pay their bills have created a booming business out of auctioning off abandoned storage lockers. We're sure Conan and company could have a good time trying to buy something big at one of the local storage wars as long as they don't accidentally get one that used to belong to, say, an organ transporter.