Being a fan is tough. There are no official guidelines to tell you how to be the perfect — or even adequate — fan, except for obvious ones like refraining from mailing naked pictures of yourself to the object of your affection and honoring the court-determined distance pertaining to your restraining order.
That's why so many Star Wars fans suffer the most number of panic attacks on May 4, aka May the Fourth Be With You, according to the U.S. Department of Fanboy and Fangirl Medical Studies. There are so many places celebrating this storied day in sci-fi cinema history that it's hard to decide which to go to, unless you can tran-substantiate or have one of those full-body holograms that CNN stole from the Empire for its election coverage.
We're not only going to show you where you can go to celebrate May the Fourth, but we're going to show you ways to be the ultimate Star Wars fan that don't involve sending threatening messages to George Lucas.
Train for battle at the National Videogame Museum
True fans of Star Wars do more than just watch some of the great battles like some wussy sideline waterboy waiting for the tie-fighter pilots to fly back to base for a quick swallow of space Gatorade. You gotta be prepared to get on the front line if the lines of reality and fiction are suddenly blurred and we actually have to fight some intergalactic Third Reich for control of the universe.
The National Videogame Museum in Frisco will hold a giant Star Wars party from 10 a.m. to 8 p.m. all day Saturday by diving into its massive collection of video games and letting guests play them on everything — from the Atari 2600 to the modern-day consoles — (and hopefully not the latest Battlefront because it's a crime against fandom). Guests who show up in a Star Wars costume will get a $2 ticket discount. It's the closest you can get to training for space dogfights without taking heavy-duty narcotics or bribing a guard at NASA to let you stow away on President Trump's new Space Force crew.
Become a Jedi at HAK Electronics' Innovation Lab
Joining the ranks of the universe's solemn order of holy crusaders looks like it takes an amazing amount of talent, luck and training. The truth is that becoming a Jedi isn't a real thing, even if you list it as your religion on job applications. All you need to "become a Jedi" is to have your own lightsaber, and those aren't as hard to make as you think since laser swords are not a real thing either.
It still requires some basic knowledge of electronic structure and technological skills to make a lightsaber that looks like the real thing, which — let's emphasize again — it is not, because there is no such thing. The engineering education workshop HAK Electronics will show you how to make your own intergalactic weapon in a series of lightsaber building classes on Saturday, fit for varying ages and skill levels. Novices at electronic engineering can attend the morning session at 10 a.m. to learn the basics of building cool stuff with LED lights. The intermediate 1 pm session is for guests who have some basic coding knowledge. The 4 p.m. class is for "master Jedis," starting from high school ages and up, who for those who can code their way blindfolded out of a paper bag.
Dominate your enemies at trivia matches at Pocket Sandwich Theatre
A true Star Wars fan doesn't just know everything about the Star Wars universe. They take the wisdom and knowledge they've gained from years of studying the movies, books, comics, video games and TV series and specials, and use them to humiliate the people who dare to challenge their authority. Screw Yoda and his humanitarian views of possessing power and using it for the good of the universe .
You'll have the perfect opportunity to make your fellow fanboys and girls cower in fear at your unrelenting mental encyclopedia of knowledge with a Star Wars trivia tournament, starting at 11:15 p.m. on Saturday at Pocket Sandwich Theatre in Dallas. The theater's late-night trivia showdown will present two rounds of challenging trivia about the long list of Star Wars films (yes, even the prequels) as well as a costume contest, for a chance to win some fabulous prizes and the honor of holding your accomplishment over another fan's historically accurate stormtrooper helmet.
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Learn how to entertain an angry cantina crowd at The Ridglea
Not every person who pretends to be a resident of the Star Wars universe can be a Jedi, a pilot or a rogue smuggler. Even a galaxy far, far away still needs people to unclog toilets, wash dishes and mop up floors after a Sith lord has turned against his Jedi trainer by disemboweling them with a laser sword.
One of the most important and underappreciated jobs is the entertainment at the many cantinas. The scum and villainy of the universe hang out at these places and only the soothing sounds of a musical performance can keep them from ripping each other apart after drinking too much space Jaeger. The folks from Los Bastardos can show you how to entertain the most retched creatures in the universe with their signature Rocky Horror Picture Show performance and giving it a Star Wars twist at 8:30 p.m. (doors open at 9 p.m. and the show starts at 10 p.m.) on Saturday at The Ridglea in Fort Worth
Join the battle at The Void
At this point, you're all amped up and ready to take down some of those Empire bastards, but shooting lasers at someone in a stormtrooper suit is still technically illegal in this world. Yes, even in Texas.
The full virtual reality experience, The Void at the Cinemark West Plano, will be able to recreate what it looks, feels, sounds and smells like to mow down a never-ending wave of stormtroopers without having to lawyer up by Monday. The walkthrough VR experience is bringing back their Star Wars: Secrets of the Empire game, which puts players in a virtual recreation of the lava-covered planet Mustafar, on a mission to sneak into an Imperial base dressed as stormtroopers to collect intelligence on the Empire's plans for universal domination. You get to hold and shoot realistic blasters, interact with immersive environments, and even meet characters like the smarmy droid K-2SO from Rogue One as you do your part to help the Rebel alliance.