Clear Channel Says There's Poop on the Dallas Skyline

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Clear Channel has had this outdoor board up for a while. (Walter Cronkite voice) "Business is done here. Clear Channel. Dallas Skyline with a filter from 1980." Maybe years. And every time I see it, I think, "Really, Clear Channel? This is what you went with?" This is what your team of creatives decided was The Big Idea. The One True Answer to the Outdoor Board Riddle. "Well, we're either going with the 'Clear Channel: We're the shit.' or this one about how business is done here. To me, the answer is obvious. Go with the one that sounds like Dallas is over."

This board either reads as if business is done here. Finished. It's over. Dallas plus business equals Price Is Right sad horn.

Or, it's advertising the Dallas skyline as a solid place to drop a deuce. "Business is done here. Everyone's doing their business on us. Numbers 1 and 2. Sometimes, after a food truck, 3." Maybe Clear Channel is starting a public service that tells everyone where people and animals are doing their business so that we all avoid stepping in it.

And let's say you're like, "C'mon -- it totally reads normally and I get it. People do business here." Let's give the writer the benefit of the doubt and act like the first way we read this line is exactly the way it was intended to be read. It's actually worse. I liked it better when I thought people were shitting on our skyline. At least then, we were special.

Where isn't business done? Nowhere. Business is literally done every single where. Get a better headline, Clear Channel. Maybe something like, "Clear Channel. We're fucking giant and you pretty much have to use us, so get over it." Peggy Olson, Shmeggy Olson. I just got you a One Show Pencil. First one's on the house. You're welcome.

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