1. Hollie Cavanagh's puh-fect Idol dream ends: We were all thinking it. "She's adorable, but how is our half-British McKinney flower still going strong on American Idol, when so many superior performers have been kicked to the curb before her?" But somehow, some way, our Hollie got by on a cute accent and a couple of well-placed power notes. She even got past the spitfire, Clarkson-voiced country girl! And good for her, dammit. To endure so much hemming and hawing and oh-welling from three judges who've officially become broken records this season, well, it has to be a little torturous. She did the best she could this week, but the sheepish guhl just couldn't hang with powerhouse, finale-focused singers like Phillip "Crash Into Me" Phillips, Jessica "My Finger Controls My Vocals" Sanchez, and Joshua "It Doesn't Bother Me One Bit If You Call Me Mantasia" Ledet. We see a future for Hollie, maybe as a potential girlfriend for that Leprechaun-like exchange student on Glee.
2. 'GCB' is but a memory ... for now?: ABC's upfront presentation about next season's pickups and renewals isn't for another couple days, but things ain't lookin' too good for pint-size firecracker Kristin Chenoweth and the rest of the fishies in the snark tank that is GCB. Never would have thought I'd care, honestly, but you've seen me warm to the show over the course of 10 jam-packed episodes. This week's finale reached new heights of ridicu-fabu-losity, as the women ended up kidnapped by Sandra Bernhard in Mexico. Nothing like coming close to death in the desert to help some bitches bond, nam sayin? And, although the series could end sensibly with the events of the last episode, there were a couple of things left open-ended. Protagonist and least-cartoony character Amanda found some sparks with the hunky pastor, who until this point could have been asexual for all we knew. And cute li'l Sharon's bone-headed hubby sold her Losin' It With Jesus meal service right out from under her. There will be hell to pay, either in our imaginations or during a by-the-grace-of-God midseason pickup next fall.
3. Things get ugly before they get uglier on 'The Voice': I get it. Christina Aguilera is a bitter pill who always has to have the last word. But what would you do if some hack of a singer from your past aligned forces with your oft-douchey co-judge, skated to the endgame with a gimmicky cover of your chief pop rival's biggest hit, and then stopped just short of calling you a bitch on national television (in a song, no less)? You'd throw some shade, wouldn't ya? And that's just what Xtina did to Tony Lucca, a man who, in my eyes, shouldn't be a star simply because his name is "Tony Lucca." Yet, there he was, acting as if he was as talented as the others in the finale, when he'd really only made it to that point because of the kind of teenage, mouseketeerish drama he was trying so hard to put behind him. And Adam Levine served as his Xtina-hating wingman. They were the two popular camp counselors, singing songs together, broing down on breaks and snickering about how they could get under that blonde bitch's skin. It all made me a little naush. Not that Miss Aggalera (I'm just spelling it how Carson says it) held her tongue, or downplayed the drama. But, dammit, she's earned the right to step on people. Not even Bieber can avoid her divatude. And that's how it should be. ... What, you want me to talk about who actually won 'The Voice?" The winner was Blake Shelton, right? Or do I not get the concept of that show?
4. You remember that scene in this week's 'Mad Men' when Don pushed the elevator button and looked down the shaft, making us all wonder whether we were witnessing a mere moment of randomness or some creepy metaphorical foreshadowing? Yeah, that was awesome.
5. Lisa Lampanelli fired from 'Celebrity Apprentice,' making me care about the show 99 percent less: Let's have a toast to the "Queen of Mean" for her inspired run on Donald Trump's NBC charity competish. We knew she had the acid tongue, but had no idea it would be used so strategically. The intensity in her takedown of Miss Universe earlier this season boggled the mind. But she wasn't all yell. Aside from Aubrey O'Day (who should star in the direct-to-DVD 'Election 2: Tracy Flick Dresses Sluttier Now'), Lisa became a breakout project-managing stahhh. She should've made the final two, but Trump was swayed toward different decisions by the opinion of the guy who sang "Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy." Whatcha gonna do?
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