Don't worry if your Halloween costume hasn't come to fruition -- that'll work out. The important thing is to organize your weekend in advance.
You'll want to hit all of the big parties and maybe a few black sheep events to get the most mileage from that outfit -- whatever it winds up being. There's free scary movies, huge bashes at your favorite haunts and yes, Gwar is in town. So be a doll and share this list with your ghoul gang, and click the event titles for more information. I'll see you out there. (I'll be the one dressed like a tap dancing crab.)
Thursday 10.25 Reality Bites - Big Rich Texas' Bon and Whitney judge this reality television theme party at Quarter Bar on Thursday from 6 p.m. to 9 p.m. There's live music by Fingerless Ghost, $2 wells and Honey Boo Boo shot specials (I don't know what's in that, but I'm guessing it's self tanner and Miller High Life). There will be prizes, like line-cutting tickets for Saturday's MasterChef auditions -- so if you want to try out, you should win a pass and do it like a VIP. I call costume dibs on that slap-happy Real World character with Lyme Disease.
Free Screening of Vertigo at the Angelika - This is the closing film for Hitchcocktober, a four-week series of screenings from Alfred's haunting repertoire. The film begins around 8 p.m. and you should cozy up on a blanket or a lawn chair since seating is limited. Also, because cozying up is fun.
Gwar at House of Blues - If you've notice a recent precipitation of maggots, namely that they're falling "like rain," do not fret. It's a side effect of Gwar's pending Dallas arrival. There really is no better way to celebrate the dark season than with a bit of bloodletting, a lot of sodomy and the inevitable beheading of various political figures. Tickets cost $20.
Broads and Panties Halloween Burlesque Show - Do something nice for your favorite Halloweenie: take him out for an evening of cobwebs and tassels. The lovely ladies of Broads and Panties present the cheeky side of black magic at the Basement Bar in Fort Worth.
Scaraoke - Mr. Rid brings a maniacal approach to his franchise on Friday with a special spooky edition, held at Texas Theatre. I call dibs on Love Potion Number Nine, y'all.
Elegant Ghost and The Scar - As you age, your perception of Halloween shifts. You see things more philosophically, and it's in that exploration of death's abyss that your fears are triggered. What if you couldn't cross over? It's a terrifying concept and it's being explored in two, back-to-back stage performances at Teatro Dallas. The first is Elegant Ghost, a dance production by the Danielle Georgiou Dance Group which focuses on a handful of tortured spirits, roughed up in their transition to the next realm. The next is The Scar, which weaves a surface tale of friendship and deceit under the Pinochet regime.
Lee Harvey's Halloween Party -- It's the annual pagan freak-out! Harvey's has you covered for live music (Replicant and Torpedoes), crazy projections and the annual Halloween Costume Contest. Half of you are going to wind up here on Saturday night because this place knows how to throw a major rager. The other half of you will come out on Sunday for the dog Halloween costume contest. You'll lose that one, since my dog will be Rocky and I'll be Burgess Meredith.
The Old Monk's Halloween Bash - Saturday is the big night to party at the Monk, with prizes going to everything from best costume, to scariest, and crowd favorite. (What's that? You're going to do a Thriller flash mob? Fine, there's a best group category too.) The DJ gets things spinning at 9 p.m. but you can go to the Monk during less busy hours up until Halloween and carve your jack-o-lantern. Ten bucks gets you supplies, a pint, a spot to carve with your friends and a donation to the North Texas Food Bank, which Monk matches. (Carving hours are Mondays through Thursdays, from 3 p.m. to close, and Fridays through Sundays from open to 9 p.m.)
Giant Street Party in Cedar Springs - The 3900 block of Cedar Springs is bringing costume realness on Saturday night with a massive bash. You'll see folks in far better outfits than you'll ever put together, seven service booths for food and drinks, a DJ and Rose Room performers in the back lot.
Ships - Don't you dare write off this little gem of a bar. If you look closely at the walls of Ships, you'll see they're lined with photos of Halloweens past. Look even closer (close one eye if you gotta, you drunk) and you'll see that the folks in the pictures are having the time of their lives. Of course they are: they brought their own alcohol and paid $2.50 for set ups. I don't know if there's a costume contest, but with a few bucks and the Ships jukebox, everyone's already a winner. Cash only.
DoubleWide's Halloween Bash - The only Hall and Oates tribute band Dallas needs, The Rich Girls, are playing this party, which makes it the perfect occasion to go as something really scary: John Oates during his solo career. There's a costume contest with cash, prizes and Elm Street Tattoo gift certificates for the winners and music by GalleryCat. It's $5 to get in.
Zouk - If you're a single, straight man who likes models, well you'll probably be at Zouk on Saturday night. It's a Maxim Magazine party, and features some of the women who make the rag the class act publication that it is, meaning it will smell a lot like Axe Bodyspray at Zouk that night. Jim Beam gives liquor support to the event, specifically with its holiday appropriate variety, Devil's Cut.
Halloween Funk-O-Lantern at the Granada - This Halloween costume contest and Blow-The-Roof-Off-The-Funk party raises cash for the Clayton Dabney Foundation, so when you get all stinky in that banana suit (again) it will finally do someone some good. Tickets range $36 to $69.
Howl-O-Ween at 2616 Commerce -- This is a pricey ticket (around $80) and you have to buy it in advance, but that money goes to the SPCA and is all-inclusive, so you'll get top shelf drinks all night long. You might save money going this route, especially if you're prone to buying shots for "your new friends!" after you've had a few. Tuesday October 30
Tuesday Night Trash at Texas Theatre and Art Con Spooky Bar Art -- TNT is always ready for Halloween. It lives in a state of suspended animation where zombies cast shadows through the windows, kitchen sinks drip with green sludge and if you're really lucky, Erik Estrada patrols the property as a crime fighting priest. Basically, it's perfect. On Devil's Night, it feels even more appropriate with a special screening of the horror discard classic, White Zombie, followed by a trashy trailer montage, stitched together, mouth-to-anus, by Trash's curator, The Evil Dr. Box. Film begins at 9 p.m.ish.
Pop on over earlier (8ish) and join the Bar Art Party. It's a special pre-Halloween edition where you can make downright spooky crafts with those devilish folks of Art Con. Consider this event a twofer.
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Wednesday October 31 Dick's Last Resort -- If you've got an amazingly inappropriate costume -- although what that means at Dick's Last Resort is beyond me -- this might be the contest for you. There's a $1,000 prize for first place so dig deep into the more twisted regions of your psyche.
Hunka Hunka Halloween at the Double Wide - Be any Elvis you like, although fat, dead, Spock Elvis is always a crowd pleaser. It's a big ol' bash worthy of a king and there'll be prizes for best costume.
Cedar Springs: The Most Decadent Costume Contest In Town -- You'll want to be in the Gayborhood at 11 o'clock on Halloween proper; that's where you can watch the contest's preliminary rounds at any of the four major bars. The winners will all get scooted over to S4 for the finals, which will be amazing. (It's also the night of a Kathy Griffin album release, so I mean, look out.)
Halloween Screening at ilovecinema's Halloween Party -- Our friends over at I Heart Cinema are throwing a spooky party at the Texas Theatre where they'll screen the daddy mac of all scary movies, Halloween. There's also a DJ from 7pm to 8:30pm and live music from Savage and the Big Beat following the film. There's swag and prizes and a costume contest, so go out and be scary.