Do not fret, Dallas and surrounding burbs: The Observer used its highly advanced taco doppler technology to conduct predictive Cinco de Mayo party research. Our data shows that there is a 23 percent chance of hangover on Saturday, but that will increase throughout the weekend, culminating into a 90 percent probability on Monday morning, coupled with a strong likelihood of Phone-In-Sick precipitation. Consider wearing layers.
Now, let's party. I'll see you out there. (I'll be the one inexplicably yelling at the tequila.)
Cinco de Miler Dallas (Saturday) -- Get your workout in early on Saturday so you can have a guilt-free Sunday hangover, and do it in great company at Cinco de Miler, the only race in town that features mariachis cheering you toward the finish line. The goodie bag looks dope, all of the money raised goes to Ronald McDonald House and there's a post-race fiesta where your first beer, churro, chips and salsa and breakfast burritos are on the house.