Film and TV

Dumb Quiz: Test Your Knowledge About Sochi's Olympic Opening Ceremonies

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10. What did the host Meredith Vieira not say during the unveiling of the Olympic symbols. A. "Are those snowflakes or floating buttholes, Matt?" B. "Matt? Floating buttholes, Matt?" C. "Looks like one floating butthole didn't open, Matt -- a political message?" D. "I will apologize to no one, Matt."

11. True/false: Did you first consider that watching this whole thing was a terrible mistake during the interminable raising of the flag?

12. True/false: Do you know medieval Russia was not so wonderfully psychedelic?

13. Later that night, how angry were you when you realized NBC cut the segment with the giant crazy skating mascots; specifically, the horrifying blinking bear? A. Mildly furious -- I like a good terrifying mascot as much as the next asshole. B. Significantly furious -- I had my Twitter jokes all lined up. C. Goddam furious -- my dog and I waited up all night for those. D. Fucking furious -- I guess NBC stands for "Screw You, Viewer."

14. True/false: Did you die a little death when the thunderstorm of Peter the Great morphed into people dancing to War and Peace? Be honest. It's OK.

15. During the parade of nations, what did the Americans wear? A. Shit-eating grins B. All-American undergarments. C. GPS devices. D. A thinly veiled contempt for the Belarusians. E. Tommy Hilfiger's Christmas storage unit.

16. What did you think when you first saw Shaun White? A. B. C. D. Did he cut his hair?

17. How many members of Finland's team were in a Twitter fight with Bob Costas as they walked up the ramp? A. 3 B. 5 C. 7 D. 9

18. What did Matt Lauer define YOLO as? A. You Only Love Oxen B. You Only Like Oxen C. You Only Lick Oxen D. You Only Lacerate Oxen

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Michael Leaverton

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