20. Did that part with the athletes projected in the stars remind you of a Dark Side of the Moon laser light show at a planetarium? If so, what are you, like 45? Please explain.
21. Was the number of dancing '50s hipsters on stage more or less than the actual number of hipsters in '50s Russia?
22. How many stray dogs wandered into the arena and sat in empty seats, watching the show? A. 4, and it was adorable. B. 20 -- still cute, but people were on notice. C. 50 -- damn ominous; they watched in silence, unmoving. D. 435 -- back to being cute; they had a whole section!
23. On the way to the light torch, Vladislav Tretiak stopped to: A. Take off his shirt. B. Fight a bear. C. Drink vodka and sing songs with the locals. D. Set fire to a dog. E. All of the above.
24. How many times did Matt Lauer chuckle to himself and say, "In Russian Olympics, torch lights you?" A. 1 B. 14, if you include those he mumbled under his breath. C. 56, if you include those he said to his wife that night D. 439, if you include those he said to his mirror the next day.
25. Which statement best describes your familiarity with the history of Russia, given how confused you were with the majority of the opening ceremony. A. "Sputnik -- prog band?" B. "How about those big Russian tractors?" C. "I have been wrong about the alphabet all this time." D. "Industrialization looks fun."
26. Ten years ago, did you ever think you would associate the workers of communism with the plumbers of Super Mario Bros. at the Olympics in Russia? Please explain to my parents.
27. How many Daft Punk songs do you think appeared in the opening ceremonies of Putin's Olympics in Russia in 2014? A. 1 B. 2
27. Which host began a humorous aside with, "So, I was sitting on double toilet astride this Russian fellow when he pulled out a tub of peach Chobani ..." A. Matt B. Meredith
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