You, sitting at the desk. Start stretchin' your lower spine and your liver; you'll need them in top form if you want to survive Cinco de Mayo weekend! Yeah! Better blast that air horn app you've forgotten about, because it's party time. We've got a giant party for dogs on Sunday at the Cotton Bowl, a huge grindhouse/horror film festival that runs all weekend long, and of course, Cinco de Mayo! Click the event titles for more information, and share this list with your party posse. Now, let's turn this mother out, shall we?
Thursday 5.3 Anthony Jeselnik at Addison Improv -- What's that? You haven't heard of Anthony Jeselnik? He's the vicious-spitting tirade of a comedian who ripped everyone to shreds at the Roast of Charlie Sheen and Donald Trump. Yeah, he's loose in Dallas. Go wrangle him.
Grease Sing-a-Long at Texas Theatre -- Tease that hair and bat those cat eyes, ladies. Gentlemen, polish your rods. It's a throw-back sing-a-long that has serious H.J.P. (Hand Jive Potential)
Friday 5.4 Purple Party -- No, Prince won't be there, but it is a great excuse not to wear a shirt. Yay! This mega club event raises cash for anti-AIDS organizations while letting you shake every bit of you that jiggles.
Frightmare Weekend -- Wha, wha, what? Rowdy Roddy Piper and the cast of They Live are doing a Q&A at this three-day gore fest? Yep. So's the cast of Carrie. There's also a Carrie-themed prom, oodles of seedy film screenings (Troma and Asylum represent!), and photo ops with Anthony Michael Hall! Why is he at a horror convention? Who cares! It's going to be rad.
Viva Dallas Burlesque -- A very special Cinco de Mayo installation of this tassel-flipping crowd pleaser awaits you at Lakewood Theater. See some of Dallas' sassiest, brassiest babes as they take the stage, but be warned: they'll likely seduce the hell out of you.
Saturday 5.5 Cinco de Mayo stuff -- Here's a short list of mechanical bulls, queso-eating contests and a parade. Check back with Mixmaster (That's where you are right now. Nice to have you.), because we're posting an all fifth-o de Mayo party guide with even more options.
Etsy Dallas Spring Bash -- "Ohmigoditssocute!" Get use to that phrase because you're going to be saying it A LOT on Saturday. This positively adorable fest of handmade, love-drenched goodness is a good reason to dip into your mad money and go on a spree.
"It'll Be Worth Something Someday" -- In his solo show, Taro-Kun takes old trading card memorabilia and defaces it by making tiny portraits within each. The Public Trust will be converted into a baseball card shop and you'll be left to wonder about the value of items we all hold onto.
Dog Bowl -- Dog people, this is our day.The Cotton Bowl is converting into a giant dog park for one, glorious afternoon. And...wait for it... they're selling beer! Accommodate your Seis De Mayo hangover state with a cold one and watch dogs romp and then relax in water-filled kiddie pools. (Better bring a towel.) Parking is $10, but Dog Bowl is free.
Dr. Sketchy's Pin Up Class -- Do you enjoy equal parts doodling and ogling? I think we've found your perfect day. $10 gets you the privilege of sketching the lovely minx model, Taffeta Darling, as she dons various cosplay ensembles. It's at La Grange, so you can totes booze it up until there's two of 'er.
Chihuly's Here -- It's finally arrived. This enticing collection of blown glass art is up and positioned within the landscape of the Arboretum. The pieces are often created by weaving hundreds of smaller ones together and can be seen hanging from trees, peeking out from bushes and floating gently in the water features.
Keep the Dallas Observer Free... Since we started the Dallas Observer, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Dallas, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Dallas with no paywalls.