Arts & Culture News

Finally! Dallas Adulterers Have A Voice!

When I received the press release from, I initially assumed this was a website of a local baby photographer who takes those baby photos where they put your newborn inside a sepia-toned watermelon. Sounds like something an Ashley Madison would do. I was wrong.

In fact, is a "dating site designed for people already in relationships." I had a million immediate questions. Starting with "But, wait--huh?" and progressing to, "Hold on, what-the-definite-fuck, though?"

There was more. "has decided to reveal the least faithful neighborhoods in D-town, based upon the 77,793 cheaters who live there. According to membership per capita, the most affair seekers live in Carrollton, with Garland, and Bryan Place rounding out the top three zip codes."

I asked their publicist -- who wished not to be named, so let's call her Jeff -- "Hey Jeff! As a dating site that helps people have secret affairs, what's the intent in sharing this info with The Entire Dallas?"

Jeff said, "As the world's leading extra-marital affair dating site with more than 24 million members, we're the leading authority on infidelity. We decided to share this data as part of our ongoing efforts for a few reasons."

My favorite of which was this one: "To provide a voice for those that can't speak out on their own behalf."

Who can't speak out, Jeff?

Jeff goes, " provides a voice for adulterers who can't speak out themselves. ...mainstream media continues to portray the adulterer as someone who is either deviant or lacking morals - when the truth is quite the opposite. Our members are your everyday mom, dad, plumber, CEO and everything in between."

Well, obviously plumbers, Jeff.

I wasn't getting enough clarity about this whole culture from Jeff, so I joined. My name was Vindicated Pants. My photo was Anne Hathaway at the 2014 Oscars. And my turn-on chosen from a menu? Erotic tickling. I don't know what it is, but it sounds like a) a fantastic cocktail and b) the perfect combination of words to get you out of jury duty.

The profiles on this website are surprisingly generic. It's mostly checking a box for your description, what you're looking for, and what extra curricular activities push your boner buttons. Most faces are censored. (Probably because more than 75% of their members, according to Jeff, are married.) One thing though: when you're picking your name, Dallasites, maybe don't use "WTW1999." Because then I know I went to high school with you, dude.

And things get much less anonymous.

And to the guy in Dallas calling himself Christian Grey: You're doing this exactly right. Whatever this is.

KEEP THE DALLAS OBSERVER FREE... Since we started the Dallas Observer, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Dallas, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
Alice Laussade writes about food, kids, music, and anything else she finds to be completely ridiculous. She created and hosts the Dallas event, Meat Fight, which is a barbecue competition and fundraiser that benefits the National MS Society. Last year, the event raised $100,000 for people living with MS, and 750 people could be seen shoving sausage links into their faces. And one time, she won a James Beard Award for Humor in Writing. That was pretty cool.
Contact: Alice Laussade