First Times Are Funny: Andy Franklin

We're back here with another installment of our local comedy series, First Times Are Funny.

This time around we've put local Andy Franklin on the hotseat -- partly in anticipation of tonight's Stand-Upish Evening with Franklin, Jude Sutton and Dante Martinez at the Dallas Comedy House, and partly because we wanted to follow up comedy veteran Dave Little with a rising newcomer.

Prepare to be shocked. Prepare to be wha-huh?-ed. Prepare to be surprised that a dude in quality frames like the ones you see above can riff on ball sacks, SMU, and double-bagging -- without the punchlines you're expecting.

Let's jump right into Franklin's first time...

Who was the first comic you laughed at and where were you? My dad. I'm sure the first time I was probably somewhere in his ball sack.

Describe the first time you realized you were funny: Just after I got a dude with a "white power" tattoo to laugh and he sent me a Facebook friend request ... Denied! But I did get his sister pregnant ... For free!!!

Tell us about your first time on stage: I was drinking VODKA and the SMU crowd was completely hopped up on Jager and privilege! I got nervous till I imagined the crowd was on meth; it reminded me of home and I calmed down!

What about the first time you had sex? Ah man, she made me wear two condoms! But it was fun -- she was as excited about becoming a woman as I was about becoming a man. The only difference was the doctor that made her a woman charged her way more than she charged me!

What's the first thing you're going to do after answering these questions? Well since there's no happy hour at Redbox, I'm probably gonna dodge a few more calls from my baby momma and pick up the finest box of wine I can find...

For more Andy Franklin, catch him tonight at 9:30 p.m. as part of the Stand-Upish Evening at the Dallas Comedy House, as well as every Tuesday at the DCH open mic night.

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