Connor Hill and Mallory Hill are a super fun couple with a super fun house. They also happen to have the same last name, but that’s just a fun fact for you to file away in your dossier.
Guess what’s another fun fact? No one likes paragraphs. All the returns and indentations? No thanks! Just like the infomercial says, there has to be a better way! Good news, idiots, there is. It’s called “even more fun facts” and it’s really just bullet points in disguise, but they’re — tap dance, jazz hands — fun. Let’s dig in!!!
- Connor and Mallory are both art directors and obnoxiously talented. You know Connor from Magnificent Beard, Mallory from Dream Girls and both from your envy journal.
- They have the best artwork and it’s 100% created by themselves, their family or their friends. Talented fools be finding talented fools.
- There’s a strong possibility that Connor or Mallory aren’t humans, but two cats dressed in people suits. Seriously, they love cats. They have four total and our favorite Mallory quote comes from her Instagram, “LISTEN. I wish I could text my cats.”
- These two don’t take themselves too seriously and yet their space is Paula-Abdul-Straight-Up legit. Just look at this motherfucking perfectly curated vignette.
- Connor describes Mallory as, “Saturnalian, neat as a button and resplendent.”
- Mallory describes Connor as, “ADD, progressive and curly.”
- We describe them both as, “Stylish yet affordable.”
Now let’s get down to bi’ness and check out the Double Hill's 5 Favorite Things…
This Talking Bird
Connor called his grandfather Bop because he’s a dingus and couldn’t pronounce Pop at a young age. Also, we mock those sorts of things. Bop was a big deal. He was a communications officer on a famous plane called “Talking Bird” so, of course, his secretary got him this — a hand-carved talking bird.
The cat thing? Yeah, that’s inherited. When Mallory’s mom had her first apartment these were her first purchase — a set of hand-painted leopards from a shop in Town East Mall. She didn’t have a ton of money so this was a total splurge, but that’s how much she loved them. It’s only natural that when Mallory moved out she basically stole them from her mom without even asking. The moral of the story? Kids are assholes.
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Pilot the Live Cat
There are four live cats total so why Pilot? What makes him so fucking special? Well, as you can see here, he can sit like a human so he wins. All you have to do is prop him like that and he’ll stay that way. Better than a human? Probably. Plus Connor overcame adversity to own his half of the four-cat equation. Growing up he was allergic to cats, but in college? Magically cured. Someone call Robert Stack because we’ve just stumbled on an Unsolved Mystery.
Art From Friends
We covered this one briefly in the intro, but we’re going over it again. Some things just need a double mention. So … like we were saying, Connor and Mallory have a lot of talented friends who give them things (and vice versa, this is a two-lane highway). ROLL CALL! Taro-Kun, Mylan Nguyen, Emily Stoker, Favio Moreno (Bodega Negra), Matt Brinker (The other half of Mag Beard), Brent Ozeata and more.
The Wall of Bravery
Featuring all four cats in perfect harmony, this is the first Christmas gift Connor made for Mallory. While they didn’t live together at the time, with a twinkle in his eye and a pitter pat in his chest cavity, Connor knew that some day they would and they’d live happily ever after and the cats would fight, cause problems and have to live in separate rooms. The end.