Real World casting directors come to town Saturday to see what talent is hiding in Dallas, but getting picked requires method acting. You'll want to face the mirror and have a one-on-one: "Will I be able to commit to this ridiculous persona for an entire filming period?" "If I'm using an accent, am I somewhat familiar with its country of origin?" And, "Am I ready to bring large amounts of shame upon my family via hot tub scenes?" Legit concerns, all. Once you've reached a point of decision, you'll want to round out your character with casting director must-have traits. That's where we step in. Here's a few answers to frequently asked interview questions. Learn them. Love them. Expound upon them and you'll easily enter Round Two.
Where did you grow up? a.) Traveling along the Panama circus route. My family worked the carnival's midway as barkers. When money was tight we forged off the land, eating native plants cooked down to squish in vats of salty lard. My parents retired in Central Florida.
b.) In one of the original Swedish Ikea stores. My family abandoned me in the playland, but at night the world became magic as I called various living room, bedroom and kitchen interiors "new home." (*requires an accent)
c.) Home-schooled in rural Oregon. My family believed that God provided the farm's abundance. The crop of choice? Marijuana. (Super-size it: You didn't know that carpet came in non-shag varieties until finally allowed to visit a friend's house at the age of 14.)
d.) The rodeo. Daddy was a clown and momma worked the burger trailer.
2.) Do you have a family history of mental illness? a.) Is it still a "history" if it's a daily, ongoing struggle?
b.) No. But occasionally my limbs flail around for a yet-undiagnosed physical ailment.
c.) The doctor says it's depression, but that wouldn't explain my spontaneous bouts of excessive -- some say explosive -- energy. Thus, I refuse to take the medication.
d.) Having never met my parents, I cannot answer the question fully. Although on very quiet nights my mother speaks to me and she's never brought it up. I'm pretty sure that I'm fine. 3.) Your perfect day would include: a.) Running 20 miles, off leash.
b.) Paint dancing.
c.) Gun range with homemade targets.
d.) The beach, X-ray glasses and a sketch pad.
4.) What are your beliefs on sex? a.) It's the most intimate experience two people can share, and that's why it should be reserved with those you co-habitate with, exclusively. End of story.
b.) I'm terrified of intimacy and can't hold hands without uncontrollable fits of laughter.
c.) Only in hot tubs.
d.) I prefer it to be filmed. 5.) Do you have a cause or public concern that you're hoping to spread awareness about through this season's Real World? a.) Yes. Sex addiction is a daily struggle, one that has many, many moments of backsliding.
b.) Lyme Disease (I know it's been done, but the Tourette's outbursts made Seattle one of the most-watched seasons of the show's history. Plus, it was 14 years ago. They'll never find a better viewing generator.)
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c.) Not really. I hate it when people blame their problems on disorders and conditions. They need to pull themselves up by the bootstraps like I did. And another thing ... (Begin a tirade regarding your animosity towards those different from you and hold nothing back.)
d.) Yes. I'm violently pro-life. (This works best if you're a man.)
Good luck. Season 28's local casting round-up happens on April 7, from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. at Red Rock Bar and Grill (18110 Midway Road, #208, Dallas). Bring a photo and identification. You must appear to be between the ages of 20 and 24, and be 21 years or older by March 1, 2013. If you cannot attend, go here to apply online.