Fort Worth Is Getting A Drive-In, But Dallas Wants To Get Laid, Too

Chihuly, Central Market, that crazy bridge -- they're all being billed as the saving grace of Dallas, or rather stuff that makes our already valuable stuff more valuable. Fine, you can have your bridge and your heart-healthy prepared meals and your blown-glass chandeliers, but none of those things will get you laid. You know what will? A drive-in, that's what. That's more valuable than all of Chihuly's woven suns and Central Market's artisan bread loafs, combined.

It was announced yesterday that a nice hunk of parking lot along the Trinity has entered into a 10-year lease in Fort Worth with plans of using the dead space for a drive-in movie theater. Why aren't we doing that? The city wins: They get a company to move into an abandoned lot, clean it up, erect a few screens and hand out some jobs. The discarded asphalt that time forget turns into a gathering place and revenue source. Life happens, those street lamps get fixed and before you know it, maybe a coffee shop pops up nearby,

Locals win: Always a pleasant balance of seedy and thrifty, drive-ins make it easy to spend quality time with friends or pitch a fun and grab-heavy date night. Just having the okay to bring your own food and drinks to a movie makes the experience worth while -- translation, I'm a notorious cheapskate and I die a little inside if I spend $20 on a hot pretzel and another five on nacho cheese. I can bring, and have brought, entire multi-course meals to the drive-in.

Dallas' patio/cocktail culture is huge. Of course it is, people want to be outside, but they don't have many options of where to go. Once out, we just wind up inside of places: bars, galleries, movie theaters, malls -- it sucks. Sometimes you just want to enjoy the fact that we live someplace that allows us to be outside for the majority of the year without fear of freezing. Add on our love of car culture and the two merge perfectly in the moonlight rich drench of a drive-in. If it's gross out, use climate control. If it's beautiful just roll down the windows or pop the top. Either way, do that cheesy dude move where you stretch your arm over her shoulder and cop a feel.

Austin, Texas' drive-in started out teeny tiny just about a year ago. Blue Starlite began as a projector in a non-descript alley between a few warehouses that wasn't able to hold 20 cars. Now it sits in a much larger field where people without homes used to smash bottles and sleep in bushes. It's a great addition to the city; food trailers have moved in around it, the field has been cleaned up and the space is shared with local promoters to double as a live music venue. Oh, and they show Teen Wolf.

This seems doable to me; it might have to happen in Oak Cliff, but who wouldn't cross the river to get felt-up in a Hyundai? Moreover, are we really going to allow Fort Worth to out-hussy us? No way, Dallas. You're better than that.

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