Friday, August 3 is Chick-Fil-A National Same Sex Kiss Day, Which Means Makin' Out and Polynesian Sauce

Let's say you're a decent human being who believes that people shouldn't feel like shit for wanting to get off with other happy, productive tax payers. Oh, you are? Great. Come make out with me Friday night, August 3. This is the only instance in which half-buzzed straight girls making out solely for attention isn't the worst thing that college ever invented.

I've been unofficially boycotting Chick-fil-a for years. Seems like the only time I ever craved from-frozen waffle fries and powdered sugar battered factory chicken was on Sundays. (I think it stems from the same twisted desire to someday mark a minister -- or just the guy who played one on GCB-- off my bucket-list.)

Don't get me wrong: Privately owned companies have every right to close for the Sabbath. And it's well within the prerogative of multimillion dollar CEOs to be total assholes, treating others like second-class citizens. But everybody knows freedom ain't free.

Which is exactly why Chick-fil-anti-gay president Dan Cathy and formerly morbidly obese Governor Mike Huckabee will be subjected to the utter horror show that is watching my ostensibly straight ass make out with a lovely lady or 10 on Friday, August 3 at one (or all) of the three Dallas Chick-Fil-A franchises.

Per the Facebook page, the National Same Sex Kiss Day at Chick-Fil-A is taking place Friday evening, August 3 at 8:00 p.m. EDT (7:00 our time, of course). Are stunts like this helpful, will they change minds in a useful and productive way? Maybe not. Is it a way to support Dallas' thriving LGBT community -- our friends, neighbors, relatives, artists, teachers, community leaders - and an opportunity to say "we're 'GLADD' you're here." Absolutely.

Besides, when has kissing ever been anything but awesome? Come make out with us on Friday.

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