General Badass

How did Wesley Clark not get elected in 2004? He was valedictorian of his class at West Point, he's a Rhodes Scholar, and at this point, if the rest of his résumé just says, "Poop! Poop! Poop!" it's still better than yours. He commanded forces in Kosovo (obviously the best song on the Cocktail soundtrack). And he's an alien-faced alien with tons of cool alien powers. At 11:30 a.m. Friday, the World Affairs Council of Dallas/Fort Worth is welcoming General Wesley Clark for a luncheon and book signing (he wrote A Time to Lead, remember?) at The Fairmont Hotel, 1717 N. Akard St. Tickets are $35 for members and $45 for non-members. (Get your tickets soon—after 5 p.m. Wednesday, tickets will be $5 more. Yeah, they're whipping out the Late-Ass Tax.) Call 214-965-8400 or visit
Fri., Dec. 14, 11:30 a.m., 2007
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Alice Laussade writes about food, kids, music, and anything else she finds to be completely ridiculous. She created and hosts the Dallas event, Meat Fight, which is a barbecue competition and fundraiser that benefits the National MS Society. Last year, the event raised $100,000 for people living with MS, and 750 people could be seen shoving sausage links into their faces. And one time, she won a James Beard Award for Humor in Writing. That was pretty cool.
Contact: Alice Laussade