Get in Line

For me, parades are a perfect storm: They draw huge crowds of people (which scare me), and they include giant inflatable Santas (which scare me almost as much as Fall Out Boy and JoJo being at the same concert venue at the same time. What if they do a duet? The idea makes me all shivery). But, for you, maybe parades are really fun and exciting. Maybe you like being a part of the 350,000-person crowd. Clowns don't scare you. Clowns are the cutest. You love giant inflatables, whether they're Garfield or green elves or Snoopy. And when they float overhead, you never have flashbacks to that scene in Batman where Jack Nicholson is The Joker and he poisons everyone with giant inflatable balloon gas. Oh—and you loooooove to wave. You've been working out your triceps all year for the opportunity to wave this much. And smiling while cheering? Your favorite! You would smile and cheer for the lamest marching band you've ever seen. And you will see them. But, you'll also see tons of floats, so the cheering will be well worth it as far as you're concerned. The Neiman Marcus Adolphus Children's Parade begins at 10 a.m. this Saturday at The Adolphus, 1321 Commerce St. But we all know you'll be there at 8 a.m. to claim a close parking spot and reserve your front-row standing spot. The parade benefits the Children's Medical Center of Dallas and has been running for 19 years. It started as a gift to the children of Dallas and has become your third-favorite part of Christmastime (just after caroling and eggnog). As you know, the WFAA-Channel 8 cameras will be there, so bring your "Hi, Mom!" poster and wear your best Christmas sweater and jingle-bell necklace. Tickets for the bleacher seats are all sold out, but you can still bring a blanket and a lawn chair to watch the show for free. Call 214-456-8383 or visit
Sat., Dec. 2, 10 a.m.
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Alice Laussade writes about food, kids, music, and anything else she finds to be completely ridiculous. She created and hosts the Dallas event, Meat Fight, which is a barbecue competition and fundraiser that benefits the National MS Society. Last year, the event raised $100,000 for people living with MS, and 750 people could be seen shoving sausage links into their faces. And one time, she won a James Beard Award for Humor in Writing. That was pretty cool.
Contact: Alice Laussade