I did a fantastic job warming the bench for my high school soccer team. Sure, in Texas, the benches stay pretty warm on their ownbut my soccer coach saw from the first day that I had talent in the ways of bench-warming, and she wouldn't let those heat-radiating cheeks go to waste. At first, I questioned her; I couldn't believe that warming the bench was actually helpful to the team in any way. But, she convinced me that having me on the bench was, in fact, much better for the team's success than having me out on the field. I remember her saying, "Alice, you've seen yourself play. If you go out on that field today, we're gonna lose. Now, go sit the hell down and quit your bitching." And, thanks to her guidance, I warmed us all the way to victory countless times during my high school career. If you feel like reliving your own warm-and-fuzzy soccer memories with a little kung fu badassness thrown in the mix, go see Shaolin Soccer
at 7:30 p.m. this Wednesday on the TCU campus (2800 S. University Drive in Fort Worth). It's playing in Sid Richardson Lecture Hall No. 4, and it's free. For more information, call 817-257-7292, or visit http://wholewideworld.tcu.edu
Wed., Jan. 10, 7:30 p.m.