Greek To Us

No-talent American Idol finalist Constantine Maroulis is once again ready to serenade you breathily and in no particular key. He's out to prove that being disgust-o in the looks department does mean you can't be sexy. You'll see all of his moves: Squinty Eyes, Pointin' Atcha and, of course, I Button the Top Three Buttons of This Shirt for NO ONE! Constantine has also been working on his sultry look. He realizes that on Idol, it looked more I-just-smelled-the-inside-of-a-cat's-ass than sexy. Catch Constantine's church gig Saturday and Sunday at the 50th Greek Food Festival of Dallas. The event runs 10 a.m. to 10:30 p.m. Friday, 11 a.m. to 10:30 p.m. Saturday and 11 a.m. to 6 p.m. Sunday at Holy Trinity Greek Orthodox Church (13555 Hillcrest Road), with food, folk dancing and lots of people asking, "Jesus! What is that awful noise?" Tickets are $3 to $16. Call 972-233-4880 or visit
Fri., Sept. 29, 10 a.m.-10:30 p.m.; Sat., Sept. 30, 11 a.m.-10:30 p.m.; Sun., Oct. 1, 11 a.m.-6 p.m.
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Alice Laussade writes about food, kids, music, and anything else she finds to be completely ridiculous. She created and hosts the Dallas event, Meat Fight, which is a barbecue competition and fundraiser that benefits the National MS Society. Last year, the event raised $100,000 for people living with MS, and 750 people could be seen shoving sausage links into their faces. And one time, she won a James Beard Award for Humor in Writing. That was pretty cool.
Contact: Alice Laussade