I never understood the mohawk. As someone who has shaved his head for seven years now, I feel as though I can speak on these matters as an expert.

The shaved head makes sense. Male-pattern baldness creeps in, makes a young man appear infinitesimally less sexy, so he conquers his follicle fate by Mach III-ing his entire noggin. Growing your hair long is understandable, too: If you got it, flaunt it. But the combination of these two ideas--the mohawk haircut--strikes me as a waste of both a good head of hair and a good razor.

It's easy to see, though, why the first 100 fans who show up to the Dallas Burn vs. New York/New Jersey MetroStars soccer game wanting mohawks will receive them, courtesy of Pro-Cuts: Fans are paying tribute to mohawk-sporting U.S. National Team star Clint Mathis, the MetroStar star who recently returned from World Cup play in South Korea. (Mathis in fact scored a goal against the South Korean team.) As well, they can dye their faces the Burn colors (red and black) or red, white and blue to mark the Fourth of July.


The Dallas Burn

Cotton Bowl, 3750 Midway Plaza Blvd.

The Dallas Burn plays the New York/New Jersey MetroStars on July 4. A big-time boom-boom pretty-pretty fireworks display follows, approximately 30 minutes after the game. Tickets are $12 to $3

"The mohawk has quickly become a 'cool' hairstyle," says Pro-Cuts vice president of marketing Stan Hansen, "and we look forward to providing a unique opportunity for Burn fans."

OK, I don't claim to be in touch with the kids. If the mohawk is indeed "cool," "hep," "bitchin'" or even "da shiznit," then by all means, go, shave, cheer some soccer, ogle the fireworks and flaunt that you have more hair on the top of your head than I do. Just remember that Lawrence Tero wears a mohawk. You know him as Mr. T. Think about it.

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