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Holy Crap, I Need That!

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Welcome to Mixmaster's newest weekly post, Holy Crap, I Need That! Thursdays, where we bring you the best and strangest adventures in consumerism on any given topic. This week, it's fashion. Here's my picks for all-around rad things that you'd be crazy not to want.

Hats for cats (above): Oh my god. This is what my brain's screensaver looks like. While you might not actually buy these (since felt is soooo cheap, you can make, like, thousands of cat hats for $20 bucks.) it's still really fun to look at pictures of obviously drugged cats wearing hats. And for that reason, this tumbler also exists. You're welcome.

Exposed Muscle Leggings, by Black Milk: If anatomy and physiology class taught us anything it's this: The body's muscle and fascia layer is by far the most conducive to fashion. Also ladies, if you're scamming on a med student here's your excuse to keep him away from the books. "Hey, why don't you come to my place and study me?"

Neon Converse: Electric Apparel has sold out of these, but they're so good that you'll want to bookmark 'em. I'd feel like an athletic Philip K. Dick character in these bad boys.

Ear Earrings: I lost an ear in a sliding van door incident as a child. Don't worry, the nice folks at the roadside hospital sewed it right back on. Still, since that fateful day I've considered how sensible it would be to have a spare, or two. These ear earrings speak to me. Not only do they fulfill my ear hoarding tendencies, but they also mess with your brain a bit. Ears are very strange body parts and even more peculiar when layered -- a sentiment echoed perfect by the company's tagline: "Your big ear grows a little ear."

That's right, ladies and drag queens. Madonna Shoes have finally arrived. If you dropped a cool grand on those tickets to see Madge, maybe you have an extra $3,080 to drop on these ultra rad tribute shoes. I wonder where the hair comes from?

This Etsy shop is on temporary hiatus to celebrate their wedding. Lame. When they get back all blissful and covered in honeymoon sweat, they'll have to respond to my 3,000 emails about this adorable necklace. Such good design, it isn't surprising that this jewelry maker is also an architect.

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Join the Observer community and help support independent local journalism in Dallas.