Idol Rich

From the small screen to the big stage


Early reviews of the latest American Idols Live tour report that Carrie Underwood isn't singing her bone-chilling rendition of Heart's "Alone." Of course she's doing that awful "Inside Your Heaven" song. And for that I advise anybody thinking of attending the schlock revue to save your 50 bucks and head over to your neighborhood karaoke bar instead. (This will also save you a trip to Grand Prairie, and you won't have to pay that ridiculous $12 parking fee.) But if you're one of those hopelessly devoted Idol addicts whose life won't be complete until you see Underwood and Bo Bice with your own eyeballs, then brace yourself for a no-frills, glitz-free retread of the top 10 finalists singing the songs that got them their 15 minutes of fame. Constantine, Anthony Fedorov, Vonzell Solomon and the rest will belt out a couple songs each and then come together at the end for a "special" ensemble performance. Is it really American Idol without the trio of judges and their various charms and smarms? Even Ryan Seacrest would probably be more useful emceeing this live concert than taking up valuable airtime with his inane banter on the show. Just pray that Bice doesn't deliver his version of "Inside Your Heaven," too, because sitting through that song twice would just be cruel. (Am I the only who thinks Bice's take on it sounds like Lee Greenwood's "God Bless the U.S.A."?) American Idols Live pushes the limits of karaoke to tedious new lows Saturday at 7 p.m. at Nokia Theatre at Grand Prairie, 1001 Performance Place. Tickets are $39 and $49. Call 214-373-8000 or visit --Jay Webb

Living Large


In the 31 year-old comic's own words, Ralphie May is no Dave Attell or Dave Chappelle...yet. But being a contestant on NBC's Last Comic Standing: The Search for the Funniest Person in America has certainly bolstered the fortunes of the 450-pound funny man from Clarksville, Arkansas, who now also has The Late Show, Jimmy Kimmel Live and Spy TV under his considerable belt. What's next for the larger-than-life comic? Ralphie May will rock the mike in Dallas at the Addison Improv, 4980 Belt Line Road, at 8:30 p.m. Thursday, 8:30 p.m. and 10:30 p.m. Friday; 7 p.m., 9 p.m. and 11 p.m. Saturday and 7:30 p.m. Sunday, and no ethnic group, national origin, sexual orientation or political interest will be left out. Tickets are $17 to $20. Call 972-404-8501 or visit --Emily Jacobs

Playing "Roundball"

Reputation be damned; I have to say it: I'm a huge John Tesh fan. Well, more specifically, I love the hell out of the "NBA on NBC" theme, titled "Roundball Rock," and that's a Tesh original, folks. Surprised? You shouldn't be. The former Entertainment Tonight host has scored countless award-winning themes, including ones for the Olympics, Tour de France and Wimbledon. I doubt he'll be rocking many sports themes when he plays New Age tunes in concert at Prestonwood Baptist Church, 6801 W. Park Blvd. in Plano, on Sunday at 6 p.m., but if he hits those first few "Roundball" notes on his keyboard, my guess is every father in the congregation will scream like little girls on TRL. Entry is free. Call 972-820-5000. --Sam Machkovech

Eternal Elvis

Elvis isn't dead. He lives on along the mantels of every ceramic plate collector, on the screen every few years in the next big television movie, stretched over black velvet or making a supernatural appearance in your fanatic neighbor's morning toast. And to those who are Jack Foltyn followers, Elvis Presley couldn't be more alive. Foltyn is considered more than an impersonator, and critics have said he gives a real interpretation of Elvis instead of cheesy mimicry. Some have even called him sexy enough to make you come "unglued." Just ask spectators at shows on his American Dream Tour. Come shake your heart-breaker hips and see Foltyn give five performances from August 14 through August 19 at the Plaza Theatre in Garland. The first show begins at 7 p.m. and tickets cost $15 to $35. The August 16 performance will commemorate the 28th anniversary of Elvis' death. The Plaza Theatre is located at 521 W. State St. Visit or call 972-991-2868. --Jenice Johnson

Play's the Thing

Woody Allen's awkward misery and suffering in both love and life makes everyone else feel like Valentino and Donald Trump rolled into one. Plus he makes you realize how much you love this crazy life, like when he says, "It seemed the world is divided into good and bad people. The good ones sleep better...while the bad ones seem to enjoy the waking hours much more." Grapevine's Runway Theater opens its season with one of Allen's earliest and best works, Play It Again, Sam, where he conjures up Humphrey Bogart's ghost--as the suave, courageous Rick from Casablanca to be precise--as his mentor in all things romantic. Experience a blind date with Woody from August 12 through August 28 at 215 N. Dooley St. in Grapevine and become "at two with nature." Show times are Fridays and Saturdays at 8 p.m. and Sundays at 3 p.m. Call 817-4884-4842 or visit --Danna Berger

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