Arts & Culture News

Imagined Scenes From the Lives of The Bachelorette's JoJo Fletcher and Jordan Rodgers

A few weeks ago, JoJo Fletcher chose Aaron Rodgers' baby brother Jordan as the love of her life on everyone's favorite shitshow, The Bachelorette. The Dallas native then told host Chris Harrison and America that she and her fiancé would move here. Dallas residents everywhere rejoiced, and we sought out a crystal ball to find out where they'll be spending their time in the Big D. Here's what we saw.

Chad Rookstool Salon
2402 Victory Park Lane
JoJo is confused as to why her fiancé is angry. The Chad Rookstool Salon is where she has always gone to achieve her flawless balayage waves. Yes, Chad Rookstool, owner of Chad Rookstool Salon, is JoJo’s ex-boyfriend. He even sent her flowers during her hometown date with Bachelor Ben and told InTouch Magazine that JoJo never really loved Ben. But dammit if he doesn’t deliver chic hairstyles. To ease the tension, JoJo decided to bring Jordan along for the hairstyle adventure. While at first angry at the thought of JoJo having her hair stroked by her ex-boyfriend, Jordan couldn't resist the opportunity to get in on the balayage action himself. Hair strokes for everyone.

CVS at the intersection of Skillman Street and Mockingbird Lane
The morning after the side-by-side hair treatments is a different story, however. JoJo wakes up feeling nauseous and sick. Together, JoJo and Jordan head to the closest CVS from their M Street home and search for a pregnancy test. On the outside, JoJo simply looks pale and sick. Inside, demons are stirring. Is it Jordan’s baby? Did Chad get her pregnant with his hair caressing? Or what about that time a year ago when she spent the night in the Fantasy Suite with Bachelor Ben? How are babies made? She nervously buys the pregnancy test and holds tight to her fiancé.

Baby Bliss 
6721 Snider Plaza
After a negative pregnancy test, the couple heads to Baby Bliss in Snider Plaza anyway. Upon seeing JoJo and Jordan walk into the store, the employees think for sure the famous couple is announcing a big addition to their three-week-old family. But no, JoJo is just strolling into the store looking for some jean shorts to wear herself. Shorts sized for adult women cover too much of her long, tanned legs, so toddler shorts are the only way to go. Jordan helps pick out a few pair of 4Ts for his beautiful bride-to-be.

Vernon’s Gastropub
5290 Belt Line Road, No. 142
Decked out in her new, tiny digs, JoJo sits quietly with Jordan in a corner of Vernon’s Gastropub. It's a football game day and once again, they're at the familiar Green Bay Packers bar. It’s the only place Jordan has a chance to see his brother Aaron, quarterback for the Packers. The brothers are estranged, but Jordan still yearns for his approval. He likes to pretend Aaron is talking to him during his post-game interviews. JoJo sits next to Jordan secretly dreaming of a life where she's friends with Aaron’s girlfriend, actress Olivia Munn. She bides her time until that fantasy is realized, taking tiny bites of buffalo wings.

Avant Garden
85½ Highland Park Village
JoJo drives to Avant Garden to find something to cheer Jordan up. She decides to take things back to their roots, walking into the flower shop and asking for a single rose attached to a magnet. The florist obliges, and JoJo returns home to ask Jordan to please accept her rose. The words trigger memories of the good old days in the Bachelorette mansion and Jordan feels at home for the first time in months. He accepts the rose and adjusts his suit coat so JoJo can affix the rose to it. They make out and drink Champagne. Jordan's insecurities have been soothed for another day.
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Paige Skinner has written for the Dallas Observer since 2014.
Contact: Paige Skinner