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Judy Blume, Carol Burnett, and Amy Sedaris Are All On The Same Night. What's A Gal To Do?

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It could have been the world's greatest cocktail party: Three sheroes of comedy, film and literature gathered in one room, but life rarely deals out a fair hand. So on Thursday, April 19, we have a decision to make.

Everyone's favorite cool aunt, Judy Blume, is speaking as part of the DMA Arts and Letters series at 7 p.m. at the First United Methodist Church. Carol Burnett is having an evening of "conversation" (Q & A and storytelling) at 7:30 p.m. at the Bass Performance Hall in Fort Worth. And co-creator of Strangers With Candy and author of absurd crafting books, Amy Sedaris, speaks at 8 p.m. on the same night at the Kessler. This is the literary equivalent to squeezing three eclipses into one meteor shower while it rains diamonds from the sky. Impossible.

What are you going to do? Judy Blume raised you. She taught you about your period, that everyone experiences alienation and that it's normal for the world to look askew when you're trying to find your place in it. Between her, Beverly Cleary, and the mail-order bra section of the J.C. Penny's catalog, my pre-teen lit was covered, and for that, I owe her dearly.

Carol Burnett is a daily inspiration. Now nearly 80 (Sorry, Carol. I didn't mean to tattle.) she still tours like a champ, doling out anecdotes and recollections from her abundantly rich career in comedy. That ear tug she'd send her grandmother at the end of each show will always make me smile. I can say "always" with certainty because I own that Carol Burnett Show box set.

Amy, Amy, Amy. Whether acting as a rubber band-lipped, "boozer, user and loser" in Strangers With Candy or giving Martha Stewart crafting advice on the boob tube, you remind the world that weird is wonderful. When I went to a lecture/signing for your first book "I Like You," you signed my copy "Fake it till you make it." Thanks for that. PS, your brother is in town a few days before -- can we all hang out?

Sedaris is sold-out, so if you have tickets, that's where you'll be going. Tickets are still available for Blume and Burnett, so get them now. I'm curious though, which show do you feel most compelled to attend and why? No amount of multitasking is going to get us out of this scheduling pickle.

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