If you're not watching this season of The Bachelorette, then you're missing one of the most dramatic seasons on television. Ever. Or at least since Breaking Bad went off the air.
OK, OK, arguably you're not missing much, but we'd like to draw your attention to Marcus Grodd, one of Dallas's very own, who is traveling around the world in TV time to compete for a woman's love. The World Wide Web tells us he's a 26-year-old sports medicine manager, likes Enrique Iglesias, and graduated from Highland Park High School.
And during tonight's episode, ABC will be exploring Dallas through Grodd's eyes, because Marcus and his blue eyes have apparently done a number on Bachelorette Andi Dorfman.
Hopefully we'll see them make out somewhere in Klyde Warren Park and two-step at Billy Bob's. Or eat some Tex-mex. Or ride a mechanical bull. Listen, we don't really know. We're just throwing out possibilities.
And because Marcus has helped Dallas gain some recognition among wine-drinking 50-year-old women, we thought we would highlight his best moments thus far.
The L-word Marcus was the first guy this season to say the big L-word. It honestly was about three episodes in before he looked at Andi and knew he had never felt this way before. We don't know if it was the champagne talking or if Andi is really just that awesome, but when you know, you know. You know?
Rappelled down side of the building It wouldn't be The Bachelor or The Bachelorette without a little danger to bring two people closer together -- physically and emotionally. As they started to rappel down the side of a very tall building, Andi was scared shitless and Marcus, being our hunky hometown hero that he is, finally got her to shut up by planting a kiss on her lips mid-air. What a pro.
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He journals During Marcus's second one-on-one date with Andi, we learn he's a sensitive soul. He tells Andi he's been keeping a journal and writing down all of his Bachelorette adventures. What a great bedtime story that will be for the grandchildren one day.
He almost bailed If you're beginning to think this man is too perfect, hold your Bachelorette roses. He revealed to Andi he thought about leaving at one point because it was all too much for him. Even though he claimed to be in love, traveling around the world with an eligible bachelorette got to be too much for him. He even said, "I was going to leave because I was scared of the emotions I had for you." But he sorted through his intense emotions and lovesick journal and now he gets to take Andi to Dallas.
He knows how to eat When Andi takes Marcus to Brussels to eat mussels and some dessert, Andi awkwardly decides to examine Marcus's eating habits. "I'm glad you're a good eater," Andi says to Marcus. Umm, we aren't sure what this is supposed to mean, but maybe someone needs to remind Andi that Marcus is only two years younger than her -- not 15.
If at 7 p.m. CST you're still not interested in watching The Bachelorette, may we instead point you to Jimmy Kimmel's Baby Bachelor?