Do you have Valentine's Day plans? Cancel them. Because what you are about to hear is the most amazing Valentine's Day opportunity that exists. I've got three words for you: sweaty bowling shoes.
This weekend, if you bowl a perfect game at Lucky Strike (2845 W. 7th St., Fort Worth), they'll give you a huge party for 50 people. If you've got a boyfriend or girlfriend, they'll host a wedding reception for you (because if you're an awesome bowler with a steady who will put up with being in a bowling alley on Valentine's Day, then you're meant to be together forfuckingever and you'd obviously both love a wedding reception at a place that smells like 90 percent must, 5 percent man piss, 5 percent black cherry bleach).
On the other hand, if you're "striking out" in love and you have an ex you'd like to roast, bowl a perfect game and they'll host a break-up party for you. Oh good. That'll make things better. If having a break-up party with 50 of your friends in a bowling alley isn't your rock bottom, maybe it's time to reassess. Fine, maybe I'm wrong. The press release does say that they offer "the very best in entertainment, food and drinks." Maybe Beyonce sings there every night and John Tesar is running their kitchen and I didn't even know it.
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From the press release:
From Friday, February 14 through Monday, February 17, those "lucky in love" that bowl a perfect game will win a complimentary wedding reception at Lucky Strike. Conversely, those who continue to 'strike out' on the dating scene, but bowl a perfect game, will win an epic break-up party to help them get over their ex.
Each event will take place at the Lucky Strike location of the winner's choice and consist of a three-hour reception in a VIP space, food and beverage package, complimentary bowling and a DJ for up to 50 guests.
"Bowling is fun, but tough - and so are relationships," said Steven Foster, founder and CEO of Lucky Strike. "As Lucky Strike provides our guests with the very best in entertainment, food and drinks, we thought we would create a unique Valentine's Weekend incentive that will end with an epic party, regardless of which side of the relationship fence they are on."
Here's my idea: Screw the wedding reception/break-up party part. Look at this as a free party for 50 people. If you can bowl a perfect game, go get your free stuff already. From the looks of the website, they don't have a cap on how many of these they'll give away, so please find a squad of professional bowlers and descend upon Lucky Strike's alleys and win this shit.