MTV is launching a new "reality docu-series" called Big Tips Texas. It's not a porn-based reality series about Texan penis sizes, FYI. We asked. Turns out, it's about "an eclectic group of women" who work at a bar. In Texas. Allegedly, "Whether they're partying on Lake Lewisville, planning their futures, or getting dirty on the ranch, they're living it up and letting loose every day." Fantastic. So glad to hear that Texas stereotypes won't be in play. The show premieres this fall.
Are there any other Texas-based reality series premiering this fall? We're so glad you asked. Here's the current list:
Real Housewives of Lewisville
Bravo brings you housewives like you've never seen them before: they're actually housewives. Every episode follows these ladies as they cook breakfast for their families, take the kids to school, change diapers, get along perfectly fine with their well-adjusted friends and husbands, clean toilets and pray for bedtime. No matter how hard the producers wish, there are no fancy side-project-vodka-distributing hobbies here. And it all leads up to the big blow-up of the season: Dawn takes away Sally's iPhone privileges.
Cowboy Hats and Y'all-ing
On the premiere season of Cowboy Hats & Y'all-ing, watch clips of real Texans wearing cowboy hats and saying, "Y'all." Nine episodes, 30-minutes each, all cowboy hats and "y'all"-ing all the time.
The Real World: Hillsboro
On this season of The Real World, the world gets super mega real. The roommates shack up in an abandoned water tower and get jobs at the outlet mall. Hilarity ensues when city boy Jernathon doesn't understand the local custom of spitting dip-spit into a Dickey's cup whilst skeet shooting. A road trip to Houston takes a wrong turn and the roommates miss the quilting expo they had so been looking forward to. The highlight of their misadventures: they stop on I-45 to put their fingers up Giant Head Of Sam Houston's nose.
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This reality TV series follows Chuck Norris all over Dallas as he attempts to find one storefront that doesn't have a "D Recommends" sticker in its window. He fails. But you watch eight seasons of it anyway, because: Chuck Norris.
The Bachelor: Jesus
When a group of fake-honkered Christian ladies signed up to participate in a race to marry a God-fearing mate, they had no idea what was coming. Turns out, Jesus is alive and well in Lorena, Texas. And he loooooooves fake boobies. This season on The Bachelor: Jesus, giggle as Jesus shocks Candie by turning all the water into Franzia at Painting With A Twist. And stick around for the season finale when Dad shows up. Spoiler alert: he's not happy.