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NSFW: Last Night's Dallas Art Fair Gala, With 19th Century Muff Shots

Last night's Dallas Art Fair gala had a Champagne sponsor, so I was there. As was every Dallasite with a Bentley. Even the cocktails were wearing Chanel. I went into the scene with one goal: photobomb and later befriend Maxwell Anderson's sassy fun wife, Jacqueline. (Oh, the brunches we would have!) But F.I.G. is designed like the IKEA of art this weekend, with two stories of twisting, intertwining labyrinths that accommodate the 75 galleries showing there; finding anyone is damn near impossible.

Another impossibility is leaving the F.I.G. without a lot of new crushes (artistically speaking). I was floored by the conglomeration of talent. Unless you've got the keys to a private jet you won't have the opportunity to see this stuff anytime soon, so buy a ticket. New York artist Alex Guofeng Cao's room was so popular that it lured people into one of the bottom floor's distant corners, an impressive feat. (If it were IKEA, he would be in "Lighting.") This toast of Art Basel's current project is a fun play on pop icon photography, where famous black and white pictures of celebrities are reconstructed out of tinier images. The miniature photos can be examined with the naked eye but also with magnifying glasses, which hang next to most prints.

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As you walk in you're greeted by a very large, mostly naked Pamela Anderson. Her hand is gripping her hair in that "over it" kind of way, and her boobs are so robust you worry they might slap you. Upon closer inspection you see that this piece is called "Pamela vs. Courbet," meaning that Pamela's photographic cells are made out of repeating images by Gustave Courbet, the 19th century French Realist painter. The piece Cao chose? "The Origin Of The World," Courbet's up-close muff shot.

If you haven't bought a pass for the Dallas Art Fair, you must. And make your phone's default Safari page ArtBabble, because it's fun to research and learn while you explore. Also, wear comfy shoes or put some Dr. Scholl's in those adorable platforms because every space in town has an opening party this weekend and you'll be doing some running. My advice is do Dallas Art Fair each afternoon, then local openings at night. I'll put up a list of 'em later this afternoon.

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