Ah, the holidays, that one time of year when otherwise happy philistines find themselves corralled into attending a ballet — The Nutcracker, the classic story of dancing toys, wicked rodents and a brave nutcracker. Pity the poor fools dragged away from their comfy nests and the warm glow of ESPN to be force fed this dose of culture. Well, take heart, boys, because the folks at the Beulaville Baptist Book Club's version of the ballet features something every good sugar plum fairy needs — tassels. In Mark-Brian Sonna's The Beulaville Baptist Book Club Presents: A Bur-Less-Q Nutcracker! the club's plans for a last-ditch fund-raiser go awry when the ballet troupe brought in for the performance falls to food poisoning from a tainted piña colada casserole. A traveling group bump-and-grinders are mistakenly brought in to pinch-dance for the innocent rubes, and the expected wackiness ensues in Sonna's critically praised comedy of culture, morals and Christmas. The show takes place at the Stone Cottage Theatre, 15650 Addison Road in Addison, 214-477-4942. Tickets for the December 8 performance at 8 p.m. are $18, with additional performances Wednesdays through Sunday. Visit burlesquenutcracker.com for a schedule and tickets.
Thursdays-Saturdays, 8 p.m.; Sat., Dec. 10, 2 p.m.; Thursdays-Sundays, 8 p.m.; Sat., Dec. 17, 2 p.m.; Sun., Dec. 18, 2 p.m.; Mondays-Fridays, 8 p.m. Starts: Dec. 8. Continues through Dec. 27, 2011