In theory we should, for the few precious days prior to the film's national release this Friday, be the envy of conversations around the office Brita filter. But we're not.
The only problem: No one will to talk to us for fear that we'll somehow tarnish their precious first-view. Any real fan has read the books and knows how the story ends, but after following the Potter movies and books for more than 10 years, the movie finale is the last new thing Potter fans have to cling to.
So now we're the office pariahs with no one to brag to, but we have to tell someone, right? Don't worry; no spoiler alert necessary.
Though we wouldn't normally sit through a wait longer than the movie's runtime, our two-and-a-half hour wait is nothing compared to that of the super-geeks and fan-crazed teenagers dressed up like wizards who have already begun to haunt the grounds of movie theaters like creepy ghosts in the halls of Hogwarts in hopes of catching Thursday night's midnight release.
We opened the doors to the theater lobby where a hundred or so people were already waiting in line. Half of them probably weren't even born when the first book hit the shelves back in '97, and the older half had clearly skipped work to be there. Unfortunately, this meant more Polo shirts and slacks than Windsor glasses and costumes, which surely won't be the case this weekend.
We questioned whether they were real fans or not but, hey, they were there before us, so we let it slide.
The waiting passed quickly until they let us into the theater, where 10 minutes felt like another two hours. The excitement was enough that, when the lights dimmed, people cheered but nothing came on the screen. Kind of like people cheering the first guitar strum of a roadie's soundcheck. So, we waited another five minutes and the projector started to roll.
As promised, there's no spoiler here. Besides, the story's right there in the books. Though, judging from the reactions after the screening few, if any, have been disappointed.