Parsley, Sage, Rosemary and Thyme

Get your chainmail chaps, your magic wand and your creepy leather out, folks. It’s time for the Scarborough Renaissance Festival. You want State Fair food served to you by toothless wenches? No need to go to Hooters (although I hear their wings are awesome). Scarborough has exactly what you need to feed that on-a-stick craving that only happens when you're around a critical mass of dirt, poo and strangers. So, 10 a.m. to 7 p.m. Sunday pack up your fake British accent, your broadsword and your poleax, and come defeat the magic that is Scarborough, 2511 FM 66 in Waxahachie. Do you have a friend who says he's never seen a pair of tits he didn't like? Take him to Scarborough. Do you know someone who plays the lute? (Really? You know Sting?) Take him to Scarborough. And if you're wondering whether or not you should dress up, all I can say is that if you dress up, you'll look like an asshat. And if you don't dress up, you'll look like an asshat. Tickets are $19.99 (that's 40 ducats) for adults and $6.50 (that's a million ducats) for kids. Parking is free (not that you'll be driving, because cars are totally un-Renaissancy, so clearly you're arriving on horseback and I just want you to know that parking your horse will be free, just like driving your car would be free if you were driving one, but you're not). Call 972-938-3247 or visit scarboroughrenfest.com.
Saturdays, Sundays, 10 a.m.-7 p.m.; Mon., May 28, 10 a.m.-7 p.m. Starts: April 7. Continues through May 28
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Alice Laussade writes about food, kids, music, and anything else she finds to be completely ridiculous. She created and hosts the Dallas event, Meat Fight, which is a barbecue competition and fundraiser that benefits the National MS Society. Last year, the event raised $100,000 for people living with MS, and 750 people could be seen shoving sausage links into their faces. And one time, she won a James Beard Award for Humor in Writing. That was pretty cool.
Contact: Alice Laussade