As our sister paper in Miami reported yesterday, a man wearing a SpongeBob SquarePants costume robbed a 7-Eleven near Orlando last week and got away with a drawer full of cash. Police are still looking for the perp, but we're sure they've already checked in that pineapple under the sea. Seeing SpongeBob in that light made us realize he's not the friendly, spongy babysitter we thought he was. In fact, there are plenty of fictional characters that our children idolize that actually scare the shit out of us, and most of them would make for pee-your-pants-frightening robbers. Here's our list of the scariest costumes to rob a 7-Eleven in (or bank, your choice).
Barney Sure he's the sweet purple dinosaur that teaches kids that sharing is caring, but as you can see here Barney can get quite hostile when a Teletubby crosses his path. Picture someone in a Barney costume with an AK-47 and tell us you don't immediately jump under your desk.
Mr. Burns Sure, Mr. Burns is a cankerous character on The Simpsons, but this Halloween costume is more terrifying than the animated owner of a nuclear power plant. Bonus points to the robber who yells, "Release the hounds!" before going for the cash register.
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Ursula The other villain under the sea might seem like an obvious choice, but it's also a logical one. With all those tentacles on that costume, you can grab the cash and make a fast dash before the cops come.
Sally We felt sympathy for The Nightmare Before Christmas character when she was at the hands of Doctor Finklestein, but you can't deny that this would make for freaky robber attire. Might even be more frightening than Ben Affleck as a nun in The Town.
Ms. Frizzle The teacher from the Magic School Bus book series and animated television series (voiced by Lily Tomlin) appears to be a squeaky-clean science nerd, which makes for the best criminal disguise. But with the outrageous orange hair and eccentric, patterned dress, she can induce as much fear as Carrot Top. Now that's what a robber is looking for.