Rocky Mountain Losers

With the Cowboys' preseason victory over the Colts, it seems the long, lonely post-Baron Davis summer of the Dallas sports fan is finally over, to be replaced henceforth by smiling Romos and the benevolent dynasty of Papa Wade. Honestly we had our doubts about Phillips at first, but after one inconsequential contest, we have now taken to him like the Pied Piper, because anyone is better than Bill "Bitch Tits" Parcells. Not even TO could kill our buzz now (though certainly that could change at anytime). This Saturday the Denver Broncos come to town to take on our 'Boys, presumably flying in from that ridiculous airport made out of teepees (Damn hippies). Tickets are $54.93 to $127.25, which may seem like a lot of dough to fork over for a pre-season game, but is actually a great price considering you get to see a bunch of hippies run out of Texas Stadium, where you can high five your fellow Cowboys fans and take comfort in the fact the Broncos will be flying home dejected, listening to some Yonder Mountain String Band and crying themselves to sleep. The game kicks off at 7 p.m. Saturday. Call 972-785-5100 or visit ticketmaster.com.
Sat., Aug. 18, 7 p.m.
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Noah W. Bailey
Contact: Noah W. Bailey