Arts & Culture News

Say "I Love You" The Old Fashioned Way, With a $10 Mall Gift Card.

For some, love is expressed through time invested, a gentle touch or a shared sigh. For others it's a scavenger hunt in the mall, or at least that's what the organizers of "Where's the Love?" at the Parks at Arlington would hope.

Show your sensitive side through VDay by sprinting around the mall, searching for paper hearts, lips and cupids with QR Codes on the back -- scan the right ones and you'll be entered to win a $10 mall coupon.

I know what you're thinking: "But Mixmaster, if I don't spend a lot of money on the love of my life she will leave me, and then I'll be all alone with the giant cookie that says 'I Love You!!!' on it in icing, which is all I could afford with a crappy $10 mall coupon. I'll be forced to live a life of solitude with only my pillow to sop up my briny, pathetic tears."

First off, ditch that girl. Giant cookies are awesome and even cooler if home-baked, so if your lady expects expensive things cut those ties. (Added bonus: more cookie for you.) Besides, we haven't discussed the grand prize yet. It is a vacation for two to Kauai, Hawaii, so if you score big and win both, just use the $10 gift as a test of virtue. If she scoffs at your giant cookie, soap on a rope, or discount-bin CD of Tone-Loc's pivotal album, Loc-ed After Dark, just tell her that you aren't the man she's looking for. Then call up some hottie with a heart of gold and take her to go party on a volcano.

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Jamie Laughlin
Contact: Jamie Laughlin