You are a rich person who likes to do rich person things. Lucky for you, Neiman Marcus released their list of Christmas Fantasy Gifts, so for hundreds of thousands of dollars, you can do what you were called to do — be a rich person doing rich person things.
There are nine fantasy gifts, which is fine, but we only have the willpower to review five of them. According to us, this is the order of urgency in which you need these gifts.
5. Daniel "James Bond" Craig designed a car, and you can buy it for roughly $700,000. You'll also travel to London via American Airlines to see the car come off the assembly line and then you'll also get two tickets to the world premiere of the new James Bond movie, which sounds nice, but be honest with yourself: You don't need this gift that bad.
4. Also on this list is a Taste of Italy, where you go to Italy and stay at some chef's "country house" and swim and stuff. Then, you go to a pasta-making lesson and then you eat the pasta. It all sounds kind of redneck until you remember it's in Italy, which is nice, but honestly, you can do the same thing at your Aunt Susan's home in Midlothian and then go to Olive Garden where someone else will make the pasta for you. You do not need this $200,000 gift.
3. Remember when Denise Richards had that reality show on E! and she had a farm in her backyard filled with animals? No? Well that was our first clue that Richards loves animals; our second clue is this gift from Neiman Marcus. Richards will help you design a dog house (for your dog) for a cool $70,000 (price is subject to change but you will have to pay at least $70,000). You don't get to meet Richards in person, which is sad, but you do get to see her via video chat, which is fine, sure. Your dog might need this gift, but you probably don't need this gift.
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2. This gift — oh, my God — you need. For $400,000, Kim Kardashian's makeup artist Mario Dedivanovic will do your makeup and feature you in a video on his Instagram account (!!!!!). Not only will you be on his Instagram, but you'll also get two tickets to his masterclass where he'll teach you how to do your makeup and not be so ugly. You need this gift.
1. The gift you most need is a custom pair of Christian Louboutin shoes that you designed. Christian Louboutin shoes are really high-end designer shoes that all the rich people wear, but you already know that because you are a rich person. Not only will you design some shoes, but you'll also visit Christian Louboutin's "favorite spots" in Paris, and you'll get five pairs of Christian Louboutin shoes in the latest collection. All for $125,000. Need, need, need.