Smells Like Kids in Here

Little kids are funny. They can't walk very well, they're not very smart and they smell weird. They're like a bunch of tiny Anna Nicole Smiths. My favorite thing that happens when the little bastards are around is when their parents pick them up in the air and smell their diapers to check for damage. It's so degrading to the parent, and the kid is always smiling that dump pride smile. Makes my day. If you've got weeble-wobbling doo-doo factories (or, as Mom calls them, "toddlers") of your own, you should take them to Toddler Story Time, part of Sunday's Winter Reading Carnival at the Rowlett Public Library, 3900 Main St. in Rowlett. The Story Time starts at 10:30 a.m; in addition to stories, there will also be finger puppetry and parachutes. Call 972-412-6161 or visit gorowlett.com/library.html.
Jan. 2-Feb. 24
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Alice Laussade writes about food, kids, music, and anything else she finds to be completely ridiculous. She created and hosts the Dallas event, Meat Fight, which is a barbecue competition and fundraiser that benefits the National MS Society. Last year, the event raised $100,000 for people living with MS, and 750 people could be seen shoving sausage links into their faces. And one time, she won a James Beard Award for Humor in Writing. That was pretty cool.
Contact: Alice Laussade